Coming into this world all knowing then losing yourself, your value, your path, your purpose is traumatic.
Being told from outsiders, seers, shamans, priestesses, and elders that you’re here to break rules, break karmas and bring back truth in your ancestry and in this world sounds awesome and empowering. To know that I have a dual duty of empowering myself and my lineage with the knowledge, wisdom and power I contain, sounds like some superhero shit.
But in reality it’s depressing and hard. It’s like knowing beforehand what’s going to happen and being cool with it. Thinking you can prepare for it and tell yourself to not lose sight of who you really are as motivation is cute. But when the chaos hits, the karma comes and the emotional rollercoaster comes roaring, it’s hard to feel like a powerful being. All that makes me human rises up and takes over. Heartache, pain, emotions, crying and crying, anger, defeat, giving up, running away and more crying.
Makes me wonder why me? Why do I have to be the one to the clear the crap out of our bloodline? A course when you ask questions like that you get answers. It’s because not only am I clearing out karma for myself and my ancestors, I’m also unleashing our birthright, power, ancestral practices and gifts, and reforming our direct link to abundance and prosperity our lineage on this earth have been disconnected from. All the things that were taken from us through murder, assassinations, witch hunts, slavery, brainwashing and our people erased from books and the memories of all people on earth.
Being reminded of what I and my lineage will be gaining from what I as an individual have to go through, helps me focus and pull myself together to push forward. Yes, these karma moments suck but I will get through them and be even stronger in my power and my will at the end of them.
A person bumps into you and you have hot coffee in your hands and it spills all over you and it burns bad. Reacting to the pain of the burn is healthy. Reacting to the anger you have towards the person who caused this to happen to you, because it caused physical pain is healthy. Allowing healthy responses to this incident is a must! Acting like no physical pain occurred and you are not angry is unhealthy. People need to understand that allowing an emotional response to occur is healthy. Eventually, being able to break the incident down to the core emotions so you can feel them, react to them, and forgive yourself for reacting to them is a key factor in doing Shadow Work, which I call Subconscious Work. Forgiveness also includes the person that caused you harm or pain, but only if they acknowledge what they’ve done. Because forgiveness is for your healing not theirs. Subconscious work is for the real spiritual people, not the love and light folks, so if they don’t apologize or acknowledge their fault, f*** them and keep it moving.
I included forgiving yourself, because no matter how spiritually adept someone becomes, we will still be human at the end of the day. And being a human being includes being emotional and ignoring our emotions is harmful and unhealthy. It doesn’t help that society frowns upon emotional people, specifically women, and that’s why emotions and being emotional gets a bad rep. But as humans we are composed of 4 bodies, which are the spiritual body, mental body, emotional body, and the physical body. The saying “stand on your square” directly relates to the acknowledgment of these four bodies aka four points.
I mentioned above the term core emotions which correlate to our core beliefs. People only have 5 emotions that we experience on a scale of extremes or as a combination of the core 5 emotions. Disney put out a great movie a few years back that explores human emotions and their complexity called Inside Out. I highly recommend watching this movie if you want to start Subconscious Work and fully understand core emotions and beliefs.
Unfortunately, because a lot of people including myself at one point, see 4 of our core emotions anger, fear, disgust, and sadness as negative emotions, but they’re not. They are absolutely needed and need to be expressed to be a whole and healthy human being. These emotions that are associated with being dark and negative are the key emotions you focus on in Subconscious/Shadow Work. These dark emotions have dark positives, which I see as positive aspects to that emotion when its acknowledged and transmuted. For example, fear can be transmuted into rage when a woman is attacked by an attacker while walking at night. She can use that fear turned rage to defend herself against her attacker. Another example, fear can be transmuted to strength when a mother see’s her child get trapped under a car and she lifts the car up off of her child so she can get them out.
To fully understand how the subconscious works, you must correlate it to how the body does voluntary and involuntary actions. Voluntary actions are conscious actions and involuntary actions are subconscious actions. So, for example, conscious breathing is voluntary breathing. You are purposely making you lungs inhale and exhale air. Subconscious breathing is involuntary breathing which is your normal moment to moment breathing that happens without any guidance or will of your own. Without involuntary actions of the body, we wouldn’t be alive because involuntary actions run our entire body. From breathing to blood pumping to digestion. All actions we don’t have to tell our bodies to do. So, guess what, if involuntary aka subconscious actions run our bodies then the subconscious mind runs our mental and emotional bodies. Need proof, here’s a perfect example, zoning out while driving a car to work. When, you get to work and don’t remember driving there at all. You don’t remember seeing the typical sites you see during the drive in or anything. It’s because your subconscious got you there and your subconscious always gets there but when you zone out and come back to consciousness you become aware of the subconscious actions.
Furthermore, the subconscious is the involuntary mental and emotional actions that drive our core emotions and beliefs. When we push “negative” or “dark” emotions and experiences “deep inside” so we don’t have to deal with the feelings that arise or even acknowledge them at all is unhealthy. When you push those emotions “deep inside” you’re pushing them into your subconscious. Which is where they turn into involuntary actions that attach to core emotions or core beliefs, which the subconscious runs them. So, now you have that one horrible moment that happened when you were 5 years old running and controlling your life when anything that feels like that experience or emotions happen. You’ve created a circular habitual response in your life that will continue till you deal with the emotions attached to that experience. Dealing with those emotions includes revisiting that event in your mind or even the place, allowing the emotions to rise, feeling those emotions play out, releasing the emotions, then forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to feel because “You’re human and you’re allowed.”
We are going through a birthing. A new Earth is emerging from an old, broken, run down and no longer able to function properly Earth. This is the transitioning of 5D from 3D that so many speak about. The misconception is that it’s an actual new planet earth or a physical new heaven, because it’s not. It’s a higher level of vibrations, a higher view to see the whole picture, which means a higher perspective is dawning. One where the Universal Law of One is honored. One where the respect of duality is honored. One where the roles of humans, animals, plants, dimensional beings, and all things metaphysical are honored and respected. The pain, discontent, and emotional rollercoaster we are all on right now is necessary and a part of the birthing process just like when a woman gives birth. The pain, discontent and emotional rollercoaster she feels isn’t caused by the baby….. it’s caused by the birthing process and that part of the process can’t be skipped.
What we should be doing right now is grounding ourselves and helping Mother Earth ground in this new level of energy. Captured in many books written within oppressive societies, humans are made to feel less than and puny among the “gods”. But in reality the “gods” envied humans because we were originally created to be able to navigate the spiritual and the physical realms simultaneously. We are the bridge, the portal between the dimensional realms, the physical and spiritual planes of existence. Through us, I’m specifically talking to melanated people, we can anchor in these new energies. The People of the Sun aka The Sun Kissed Skin aka melanated people are the protectors of this Earth and have the genetics to anchor in the new energy.
The new energy I speak of is on the higher scale of the electromagnetic spectrum and this scale has radio waves/red as low frequency energy and ultraviolent waves/purple as high frequency waves. The EMF scale also reflects how our chakras are arranged regarding a low frequency/red/root chakra to a high frequency/purple/crown chakra. These higher levels of radiation that are deemed as unhealthy and problematic by non-melanated people is only that way towards them. Our genetic nature, our melanin is activated and energized by the sun and cosmic radiation (higher vibrational energy). We are the righteous, those who can survive under the frequencies on the right side of the EMF Spectrum.
One of the reasons this shift is occurring is because, malevolent beings enslaved this earth and has been able to entrap us and stagnant our spiritual growth by creating an electric, negative ion barrier around earth (electric is the masculine aspect of energy, magnetic is the feminine aspect of energy). This barrier would reflect higher vibrational energy away and allow low vibrational energy through, which caused an imbalance in the energies on earth. This helped keep earth, as a whole, in a very low vibrational state and all things patriarchal/masculine/electric driven started to run rampant on earth because the divine feminine/magnetic was repressed. By doing this, these malevolent beings unhinged the Law of Duality on earth. Wars, famine, dis-ease, a narcissistic society and so on are all created within low vibrational states of being and these malevolent beings feed off the negative, low vibrational energy produced.
The current state we are in right now has been talked about for ages in every culture that’s graced this planet because they knew balance would eventually restore itself. They knew the universe would correct the mess these malevolent beings caused. The electric barrier that surrounded earth has been dissolved and the shifting of these dimensional planes is allowing higher vibrational energy to penetrate through to Earth and with the return of the Divine Feminine, Earth’s spiritual imbalance is being restored back into balance. To restore the balance the old earth, the old ways, the current leaders and everything associated with those malevolent beings must be broken down and destroyed to be able to build a new earth with a solid foundation based on balanced universal laws. The establishment associated with those malevolent beings is fighting very hard to try to maintain their control, but out of this chaos will come order.
Based on everything I’ve listed above, remove your human emotions out of the way and think about all the injustice that has been done to melanated people all over this earth, the injustice done to women all over this earth, and the backwardness of society. Where teachers are paid scrapes but a guy that can shoot a basketball gets paid millions, a nurse (who have been predominantly women) is looked at as less than a doctor (who have been predominantly men) when they do all the dirty work, how people can’t afford food or a decent place to live, but politicians can raise millions to run for an office, or how the government can come up with trillions of dollars to fund bail outs to major companies, but there are people in this country trying to live off of minimum wage. Now, open your eye and your spirit and see how over the past decade or so melanated people have risen in positions and in power and women as a whole have risen in positions and in power. Melanated women have embraced their natural power, their natural hair, left religion behind and embraced their ancestral practices. Those steps were the Divine Feminine returning to Earth which helped awaken Mother Earth. This current state and this shift we are in right now has been in the works for a long time. Using our powers to perform grounding rituals, grounding spells, spending time in the sun barefoot and earthing and carrying grounding tools, stones, etc. are the practices we need to be doing right now to assist.
Ephesians 6:12, KJV: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
While people were being focused on the coronavirus and relief checks for people and businesses, Trump signed into effect the 5G Bill. This bill moves forward the creation and set up of infrastructure for the wonderful 5G towers. You know, the 5G that all the wireless companies keep shoving down our throats of being “the fastest wireless system ever”. Why didn’t Obama or Bush have to sign a bill with the implementation of 3G or 4G wireless infrastructures? Hmmmm…. maybe because 3G and 4G are way different types of wireless systems and aren’t going to be used in the same capacity as the new 5G wireless system.
So, why are so many against the new 5G wireless system? And yes, there are several organizations, groups and people against the emergence of 5G even if you haven’t heard about these people or groups. The mainstream media isn’t in the business of keeping people informed so if you only get your news and information on what’s going on in the world through TV and mainstream news outlets than a course you haven’t heard of any resistance against 5G. It’s interesting that Trump has to meet with the Defense and Home Security departments to review the layout of the 5G infrastructure. Now, that should make you think “why does the president have to meet with the Defense and Home Security departments about the setup of a wireless system?” Let’s began to answer that question!
The fifth generation of wireless communication technologies (5G) is the strongest and highest frequency mobile broadband wave ever created for wireless. The electromagnetic frequency (EMF) is above 24GHz and reaching up to 72GHz levels of radiation. There has always been concerns about radiation exposure around cell phone towers and electrical towers. Now, that 5G has been approved the current regulations have not been changed to protect people from the increase in radiation they will be exposed to from 5G. Here’s another question, why would the government not review the regulations and adjust them to make sure the people of this nation are protected from the increase of radiation they will be exposed to? Let’s began to answer that question!
The EMF that will be emitted by these 5G towers will be used as a weapon and control tool. A weapon and a tool that has been in place and used in warfare since the days of the Nazi reign. We are talking about psychological warfare people and more importantly spiritual warfare. This type of warfare was created by the Nazi and perfected by the United States. The Uppers of this planet tell us all their dirty secrets all the time as a way to try to avoid the Law of Karma. There are countless movies out there that show how EMF waves, sound waves and radiation are used to enhance peoples psychic abilities, read people minds, know peoples thoughts, restrain a person, and alter a persons mental and physical state into compliance. Minority Report, X-Men, Captain America, Stranger Things, and so on. Here’s another question, why would the government want to use EMF waves against its own people? Well, that’s the ultimate question with the ultimate truth.
Short Story: This planet is an experimental planet but one thing this planet was not meant to be is a prison planet, which is what it is right now. This planet was taking over by fear mongering beings and they can only survive from the energy produced from fear, which comes from a low vibration state of living. The reign of these beings is coming to an end so they are doing everything they can to try to maintain their control over the planet. The entrance of the Divine Feminine, the feminine aspect of our world that was removed from society to cause imbalance and drive the patriarchal/male dominance society we are currently in, has returned and assisting the awakening of people to the fact that they are being doped and deceived by the Uppers (Cabal, Illuminati, etc.) who work directly with these fear mongering beings. The return of the Divine Feminine to this planet is also helping the Earth raise its vibration and combat all the viruses and artificial intelligence (AI) that have been implanted in the Earth’s grid lines and atmosphere to keep the Earth and us hampered down and ineffective against their attacks on us physically, mentally and spiritually.
The ultimate answer is that the EMF radiation from these 5G towers will be used to hamper us down. Smother us and restrict us from awakening into who we truly are, which are spiritual beings in a matter body that has free will and is soverign. The EMF waves will alter us physically and decrease our auric fields. To visualize this decrease of our auric fields, it will be like two different sizes of ocean wave ripples colliding into each other and the larger wave ripple will overcome the smaller ripple making the smaller one no longer have any force. Basically, we will be compacted and bombarded with EMF waves to the point that our bodies will submit and not be able to rise spiritually. We will be reduced and stuck in our matter bodies and our matter bodies will react to the EMF waves with a vast of symptoms that many won’t see these symptoms as anything significant. They will think they are getting nausea from food they ate or headaches from a “stressful day”. By keeping us in a lower state of being, the fear mongering beings will be able to feed off our energy more easily. At this current time, they have many in a constant state of fear with this virus, so these beings are getting fat per se off of the worlds fear energy right now.
Now there’s nothing you can do to prevent 5G from happening, but you can prepare and protect yourself within it. Orgonite tools, orgone pyramids in your home and around your property, wearing orgonite tools or orgone jewelry, performing auric clearing meditations, listening to high vibrational or relaxing music on the regular, eating as healthy as you can, increase your immune boosting vitamins, and staying out of the mindset of fear and engaging in low vibrational activities; such as reading all the fear mongering in the news and on social media. Stay informed and don’t be afraid to venture into alternative news outlets to truly stay informed.
Forced dissociation is a sign of being highly intelligent and being able to critique the process and call upon it when needed is remarkable, says my therapist to me yesterday. At first I was ecstatic that me being able to force myself to dissociate when I was with my ex or during very traumatic times with other exes or in my childhood was a great skill. Removing myself out feeling any type of pain and heartache sounds like a great skill to have; especially living in the word we live in when pain and discomfort can happen without for warning.
The dissociation into Me, Myself and I would happen by me literally removing myself from a situation or conversation whenever my ex would start bereating me, calling me names, basically trying to provoke me to react negatively towards him. When I would force dissociation to maintain control over my reactions and feelings during those times, Me (my core self) would fade to the background similar to how the guy in the Get Out movie would when he would fall into the sunken place. Then Myself would be a voice from the left side of my brain and I would be a voice from the right side of my brain and the actual situation/combative ex would be a blur. So Me, Myself and I would literally look like a person watching a conversation between 2 people in front of them with the background blurred out because you’re focused on the people talking. Myself (left brain voice) is the analyzer of the words and feelings that would arise in Me (core self) and I (right brain voice) would repeat a word or feeling right when Me would want to react to it. For example, Me would hear bitch coming from the combative ex so I would repeat the word bitch and Myself would start saying to I “how does the word bitch make you feel, why does it bother you, it shouldn’t bother you because you’re not being a bitch at this moment”, etc. and I would reply back with responses to Myself’s questions. While this dialogue is occurring in front of Me, Me had a chance to see the logic in the that moment and why Me shouldn’t react to what the combative ex is saying. Then the feeling of anger I would associate with hearing that word would turn into a fog and rise above Myself and I and dissipate into the air. When that would occur Me would no longer feel anything when the combative ex would call Me a bitch in that moment. Over time because my ex was constantly trying to provoke me and get me to react to him and nasty ways, I eventually became numb to his antics.
Another example of Me, Myself and I rescuing me from pain is when I was in college I was dating this really cute guy. Everyday I was taken back by this guy being into me and wanting to be with me. We started dating towards the end of my freshman year, continued talking over the summer and into the beginning of my sophomore year. Long story short, we would spend a lot of time together and I had no suspicions that he was involved with other people. Well one day while my friends and I were at a fraternity probate, he comes walking up to us with some girl and introduces her to all of us one by one then ends the introduction by saying and this is my girlfriend such and such. Everyone at that moment turned and looked at me and I instantly became overwhelmed with fear and embarrassment. Later that night I literally tried to drink away the pain from that embarrassing moment but it wasn’t working so I left my friends early and went home and cried in a ball in the middle of my living room floor until I passed out. Then woke up and went right back to crying and cramping from being overwhelmed with the emotional pain. A friend showed up to check on me and busted into my house because I wasn’t answering my phone. She instantly layed down with me and started rubbing me trying to make me feel better but even that wasn’t working. Then at that moment I remember separating and Myself started analyzing the pain and feelings that were running rapid through me and within minutes I went numb. I remember thinking “wow the pain is gone and this crap doesn’t even matter anymore” and I got myself up off the floor and went on my day like nothing ever happened.
With that being said, my therapist gave me a praise then swept the rug from underneath me with her next comment. Yes, she said, being able to do something so amazing with my mind is fascinating and hyper-intelligent but now I have to never use dissociation again and start working towards integrating the memories and the feelings that I’ve detached from and stored away somewhere back into play so they can be played out properly and released in a healthy way. A course my reply was is that I don’t have any feelings in regards to my ex and when I detached from the horrible feelings and anger he would try to provoke in me, they left and dissipated. But according to my therapist that isn’t true and those feelings moved inward. But I completely remember seeing the fog of those feelings literally leaving me. I mean I literally saw the feelings as a fog, rise up and leave me…. no joke! So I’m totally confused on how the feelings are some where still trapped inside of me.
So even though I understand where my therapist is coming from in regards to finding those “tucked away” feelings so I can become whole again, I had to let my therapist know that I already feel whole and happy and see no negativity in what has happened to me by my ex these last 4 yrs. Being bitter, spiteful and depressed would make me really take up her advice but I’m none of those things so I will maintain my position on letting things be as they may because Me, Myself and I were the ones that helped me get through the bad times and will always have my back! Having them as my sacred weapon is something I cherish too much to just say good bye to because they are apart of me and only rise when needed.
The Goddess Circle is one of the sources I refer to for guidance and understanding ever since I had my spiritual awakening. I don’t remember how I came across this page on Facebook but I was searching for a place to feel comfortable finding answers to life questions and exploring my gifts.
After reading the below post, it was the cherry to the sundae of the past couple of weeks I’ve been having; specifically last week. “We have been seeing in our lives the sticky bits rising, the sore spots, the wounds, the things from the basement that want and need to be seen. We have been coming face to face with what we want to peel away once and for all.” This statement from the post right here, OH MY GOD! I’m a visual person and when I read that I saw tar rising through the “cracks” of me. Those painful hidden things began rising in me, picking and prodding and eventually put me in the hospital trying to come to the surface. But finally it was revealed to me this week what has been plaguing me or should I say parasitize me my whole entire life. I’m a great energy source for narcissistic people. I have had 5 narcissistic relationships that I can think of, 1 intimate one with a narcissistic sociopath who was my ex-husband that has left some painful scars. To be honest I don’t even know how bad the childhood and friendship narcissistic relationships have damaged me because my mental blocks and defenses won’t let me or even a trained trauma therapist for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) access those memories.
The flow of information and knowledge to me since I started on this journey has revealed a lot, some positive and now some negative. Early in my journey I learned that I’m a highly sensitive person, a very strong Empath. But unfortunately, that’s why I’m such a great source of energy for narcissists. Now, that I finally know the positive and negative attributes to myself, I can start truly healing and learning about myself in those relationships and how it wasn’t my fault and hopefully lose the guilt weight. I’m grateful for both the positive and negative, the light and the dark parts of me. I accept them both because they both have made me who I am and more importantly, who I will become.