Birthing Pains

We are going through a birthing. A new Earth is emerging from an old, broken, run down and no longer able to function properly Earth. This is the transitioning of 5D from 3D that so many speak about. The misconception is that it’s an actual new planet earth or a physical new heaven, because it’s not. It’s a higher level of vibrations, a higher view to see the whole picture, which means a higher perspective is dawning. One where the Universal Law of One is honored. One where the respect of duality is honored. One where the roles of humans, animals, plants, dimensional beings, and all things metaphysical are honored and respected. The pain, discontent, and emotional rollercoaster we are all on right now is necessary and a part of the birthing process just like when a woman gives birth. The pain, discontent and emotional rollercoaster she feels isn’t caused by the baby….. it’s caused by the birthing process and that part of the process can’t be skipped.

Old 3D earth has to go through birthing aka the 4D portal to rise up to the new 5D earth

What we should be doing right now is grounding ourselves and helping Mother Earth ground in this new level of energy. Captured in many books written within oppressive societies, humans are made to feel less than and puny among the “gods”. But in reality the “gods” envied humans because we were originally created to be able to navigate the spiritual and the physical realms simultaneously. We are the bridge, the portal between the dimensional realms, the physical and spiritual planes of existence. Through us, I’m specifically talking to melanated people, we can anchor in these new energies. The People of the Sun aka The Sun Kissed Skin aka melanated people are the protectors of this Earth and have the genetics to anchor in the new energy.

*Please take note that all of us have different levels of melanin in our bodies ranging from 100% to 0% and the color of your skin reflects that. So, if you have any melanin in your body you can assist in the anchoring of these high vibrational energies.
Dictionary.com – What is Melanated skin? A dark brown coloring found in the body, especially in the skin and hair. Produced by special skin cells that are sensitive to sunlight, melanin protects the body by absorbing ultraviolet radiation from the sun.

The new energy I speak of is on the higher scale of the electromagnetic spectrum and this scale has radio waves/red as low frequency energy and ultraviolent waves/purple as high frequency waves. The EMF scale also reflects how our chakras are arranged regarding a low frequency/red/root chakra to a high frequency/purple/crown chakra. These higher levels of radiation that are deemed as unhealthy and problematic by non-melanated people is only that way towards them. Our genetic nature, our melanin is activated and energized by the sun and cosmic radiation (higher vibrational energy). We are the righteous, those who can survive under the frequencies on the right side of the EMF Spectrum.

One of the reasons this shift is occurring is because, malevolent beings enslaved this earth and has been able to entrap us and stagnant our spiritual growth by creating an electric, negative ion barrier around earth (electric is the masculine aspect of energy, magnetic is the feminine aspect of energy). This barrier would reflect higher vibrational energy away and allow low vibrational energy through, which caused an imbalance in the energies on earth. This helped keep earth, as a whole, in a very low vibrational state and all things patriarchal/masculine/electric driven started to run rampant on earth because the divine feminine/magnetic was repressed. By doing this, these malevolent beings unhinged the Law of Duality on earth. Wars, famine, dis-ease, a narcissistic society and so on are all created within low vibrational states of being and these malevolent beings feed off the negative, low vibrational energy produced.

Electric barrier around Earth

The current state we are in right now has been talked about for ages in every culture that’s graced this planet because they knew balance would eventually restore itself. They knew the universe would correct the mess these malevolent beings caused. The electric barrier that surrounded earth has been dissolved and the shifting of these dimensional planes is allowing higher vibrational energy to penetrate through to Earth and with the return of the Divine Feminine, Earth’s spiritual imbalance is being restored back into balance. To restore the balance the old earth, the old ways, the current leaders and everything associated with those malevolent beings must be broken down and destroyed to be able to build a new earth with a solid foundation based on balanced universal laws. The establishment associated with those malevolent beings is fighting very hard to try to maintain their control, but out of this chaos will come order.

Based on everything I’ve listed above, remove your human emotions out of the way and think about all the injustice that has been done to melanated people all over this earth, the injustice done to women all over this earth, and the backwardness of society. Where teachers are paid scrapes but a guy that can shoot a basketball gets paid millions, a nurse (who have been predominantly women) is looked at as less than a doctor (who have been predominantly men) when they do all the dirty work, how people can’t afford food or a decent place to live, but politicians can raise millions to run for an office, or how the government can come up with trillions of dollars to fund bail outs to major companies, but there are people in this country trying to live off of minimum wage. Now, open your eye and your spirit and see how over the past decade or so melanated people have risen in positions and in power and women as a whole have risen in positions and in power. Melanated women have embraced their natural power, their natural hair, left religion behind and embraced their ancestral practices. Those steps were the Divine Feminine returning to Earth which helped awaken Mother Earth. This current state and this shift we are in right now has been in the works for a long time. Using our powers to perform grounding rituals, grounding spells, spending time in the sun barefoot and earthing and carrying grounding tools, stones, etc. are the practices we need to be doing right now to assist.

Sister Energies – “Sa Sekhem Sahu”

Ephesians 6:12, KJV: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Dear Diary – Entry #2

The below drawing is my very first “journal” entry I made when I started writing down my thoughts and documenting my visions, dreams and meditations. I don’t know why I drew it, it was just something that came through while I was doodling trying to figure out what to start the notebook off with. After I was done drawing it made complete sense that it represented me at that moment.

12/4/2016

Drawing Analysis: I was thinking Jupiter but drew Saturn and this mix up happens all the time with me regarding these planets. Later I would learn about the significance of both planets in relation to myself and their interactions with each other. Jupiter being the benevolent planet and Saturn being the malevolent planet. Polarities, Enki and Enlil.

Moon and sun being polarities and very prominent in my being. I’m a solar creature but also a moon child. I gain my power and stability from both the sun and the moon. I absorb the sun for my physical nutrients and the moon for my spiritual nutrition. Moon being feminine and the sun being masculine, magnetic and electric selves represented.

The star is my 3rd eye and I drew both physical eyes and 3rd eye wide open which they’ve always been.

My mind (upper self) on the stars, the universe, the heavenly bodies. My mouth (lower self) in paradise, exploring nature and speaking with the natural orders.

Dear Diary – Entry #1

After receiving several pushes and confirmations, I’m finally acknowledging that I’m being led to start sharing my personal experiences while meditating, in dream states, astral travels, etc. to provide personal accounts of being a spiritual being and striving to be in tune with your true nature. The experiences I share are just that, my experiences and shouldn’t be used as a comparison tool for yourself or others to judge and evaluate your own personal experiences and encounters. We are all of source and we are purposely living lives as individuals to develop our own perspective and point of view regarding life as a spiritual being living a human existence. My goal is to provide a perspective of an individual learning about her multi-dimensional self, her lineage and her purpose while here on Earth.

Dear Diary – 11/25/17 Meditation, Listened to Open Balance Chakras, Heal and Sleep – Jason Stephenson YouTube Video

This meditation session I decide to do laying in my bed. I follow the spoken mediation and begin aligning my chakras and could visualize the colors, but unlike last time I performed this mediation the swirls and spinning of the chakra colors are dancers and ice skaters in sparkly dresses.

• Flamingo dancer – red – root. • Flamingo dancer – orange – sacral. • Ice skater – yellow – solar. • Ice skater – dark green – heart. • Ice skater – Ice blue – throat. • Dancer w/ long velvet sparkly cape – indigo – 3rd eye. Crown – A volcano inside a ground skull opens and purple lava fills the skull then the skull closes. Then all the chakras combine into a thick smoke of the colors blending from red all the way up to purple. Then white light sparking like a 4th of July sparkler starts encasing me and filling my veins with this electric white light. Then the image of the meditating person with each colored chakra in a sitting position appears as myself and the white light completely surrounds the image.

While laying down on my bed, the bed becomes whiteness and I can see myself laying there from outside of myself watching in third person. The whiteness becomes snow and I’m completely covered in it and I begin to emerge up and through the snow. An all-white being emerges from my body and sits up. In the distance I see this being with long white blond hair, light green cat/reptilian eyes, a scrunched/rippled nose bridge and middle of forehead/3rd eye area like a cat’s face. It has on a white attire with broad, fanned out shoulder pads and he reminds me of the blond hair warrior elf from Lord of the Rings (it gives off a male vibe). The being has a staff, then no staff as he walks closer to me. I stand up and start wiping the snow off of me and the being signals that he wants to show me something. So, we started walking in the snow and at that time the only thing I could focus on was my feet and the snow, the area was so hazy and bright that my eyes didn’t want to adjust. The being was a very slow walker, like he was gliding with his strides. As my eyes started to adjust, I could see the being doing the “Vanna White” motions showing me the scenery. I see tall pine trees, mountains and a blue sky with white clouds. The sky is so blue and the air is so crisp, pure and smells like winter. Then we stop on the edge of a rock cliff and he does his Vanna White motion for me to look at a lake in the far-off distance. The scenario and lake reminded me of Lake Tahoe with the water being a deep dark blue surrounded by a shore of pine trees, rocks and snow-covered mountains. As the being turns to start walking me back, I forced myself to speak and ask, “who should I ask for guidance?” At that moment shadowy images with golden light emanating from behind them appeared in my mind. The Sphinx emerged from the shadowy image with Sekhmet behind the Sphinx. I tried to ask another question and was taken immediately out of meditative state.

I was in such awe that I just laid there on my bed in silence. Eventually I snapped back into this 3D realm, found my notebook and began writing and drawing so I could remember the experience, because I have a tendency to forget once I’m back in 3D. From doing searches on the internet, I concluded that the being is Lyran. The only possible reason I could think of as the reason for this encounter is because I’ve been asking for guidance and to know where I truly come from. I was answered and shown a place that felt very familiar and I was at peace there. I don’t know if this place was Vega or a different planet in the constellation of Lyra before it was destroyed or a different place all together. But I did give thanks to my guides for answering me and showing me proof that I’m not crazy for knowing that my soul isn’t of Earth.

The place I visited reminded me of this picture of Lake Tahoe
The cat-like humanoid being with blond hair and green cat/reptilian eyes
The shadowy Sphinx and Sekhmet images with golden light emanating behind them

Hamper Me

Hamper – to restrict the movement of by bonds or obstacles, to interfere with the operation of, to interfere with: to impede the natural activity of.

While people were being focused on the coronavirus and relief checks for people and businesses, Trump signed into effect the 5G Bill. This bill moves forward the creation and set up of infrastructure for the wonderful 5G towers. You know, the 5G that all the wireless companies keep shoving down our throats of being “the fastest wireless system ever”. Why didn’t Obama or Bush have to sign a bill with the implementation of 3G or 4G wireless infrastructures? Hmmmm…. maybe because 3G and 4G are way different types of wireless systems and aren’t going to be used in the same capacity as the new 5G wireless system. 

So, why are so many against the new 5G wireless system? And yes, there are several organizations, groups and people against the emergence of 5G even if you haven’t heard about these people or groups. The mainstream media isn’t in the business of keeping people informed so if you only get your news and information on what’s going on in the world through TV and mainstream news outlets than a course you haven’t heard of any resistance against 5G. It’s interesting that Trump has to meet with the Defense and Home Security departments to review the layout of the 5G infrastructure. Now, that should make you think “why does the president have to meet with the Defense and Home Security departments about the setup of a wireless system?” Let’s began to answer that question!

The fifth generation of wireless communication technologies (5G) is the strongest and highest frequency mobile broadband wave ever created for wireless. The electromagnetic frequency (EMF) is above 24GHz and reaching up to 72GHz levels of radiation. There has always been concerns about radiation exposure around cell phone towers and electrical towers. Now, that 5G has been approved the current regulations have not been changed to protect people from the increase in radiation they will be exposed to from 5G. Here’s another question, why would the government not review the regulations and adjust them to make sure the people of this nation are protected from the increase of radiation they will be exposed to? Let’s began to answer that question!

The EMF that will be emitted by these 5G towers will be used as a weapon and control tool. A weapon and a tool that has been in place and used in warfare since the days of the Nazi reign. We are talking about psychological warfare people and more importantly spiritual warfare. This type of warfare was created by the Nazi and perfected by the United States. The Uppers of this planet tell us all their dirty secrets all the time as a way to try to avoid the Law of Karma. There are countless movies out there that show how EMF waves, sound waves and radiation are used to enhance peoples psychic abilities, read people minds, know peoples thoughts, restrain a person, and alter a persons mental and physical state into compliance. Minority Report, X-Men, Captain America, Stranger Things, and so on. Here’s another question, why would the government want to use EMF waves against its own people? Well, that’s the ultimate question with the ultimate truth.

Short Story: This planet is an experimental planet but one thing this planet was not meant to be is a prison planet, which is what it is right now. This planet was taking over by fear mongering beings and they can only survive from the energy produced from fear, which comes from a low vibration state of living. The reign of these beings is coming to an end so they are doing everything they can to try to maintain their control over the planet. The entrance of the Divine Feminine, the feminine aspect of our world that was removed from society to cause imbalance and drive the patriarchal/male dominance society we are currently in, has returned and assisting the awakening of people to the fact that they are being doped and deceived by the Uppers (Cabal, Illuminati, etc.) who work directly with these fear mongering beings. The return of the Divine Feminine to this planet is also helping the Earth raise its vibration and combat all the viruses and artificial intelligence (AI) that have been implanted in the Earth’s grid lines and atmosphere to keep the Earth and us hampered down and ineffective against their attacks on us physically, mentally and spiritually.

The ultimate answer is that the EMF radiation from these 5G towers will be used to hamper us down. Smother us and restrict us from awakening into who we truly are, which are spiritual beings in a matter body that has free will and is soverign. The EMF waves will alter us physically and decrease our auric fields. To visualize this decrease of our auric fields, it will be like two different sizes of ocean wave ripples colliding into each other and the larger wave ripple will overcome the smaller ripple making the smaller one no longer have any force. Basically, we will be compacted and bombarded with EMF waves to the point that our bodies will submit and not be able to rise spiritually. We will be reduced and stuck in our matter bodies and our matter bodies will react to the EMF waves with a vast of symptoms that many won’t see these symptoms as anything significant. They will think they are getting nausea from food they ate or headaches from a “stressful day”. By keeping us in a lower state of being, the fear mongering beings will be able to feed off our energy more easily. At this current time, they have many in a constant state of fear with this virus, so these beings are getting fat per se off of the worlds fear energy right now.

Now there’s nothing you can do to prevent 5G from happening, but you can prepare and protect yourself within it. Orgonite tools, orgone pyramids in your home and around your property, wearing orgonite tools or orgone jewelry, performing auric clearing meditations, listening to high vibrational or relaxing music on the regular, eating as healthy as you can, increase your immune boosting vitamins, and staying out of the mindset of fear and engaging in low vibrational activities; such as reading all the fear mongering in the news and on social media. Stay informed and don’t be afraid to venture into alternative news outlets to truly stay informed.

Higher Heart – Amoraea Flame

Before you can activate your higher heart, you must:
❤️activate, release and clear out your baggage in your 7 body chakras
🧡work within your shadow self to dissolve your fears, traumas, etc. so you can develop a loving relationship with yourself. Literally start loving you and all that you are; the good, the bad and the ugly. The flaws and the successes.
💛connect/activate your earth chakra which is in the earth below your feet
💚connect/activate with your 8th chakra/soul chakra a couple of inches above your head

Once you activate your higher heart the Kryst consciousness will be able to flow through you and be connected to you once again with no filter. The higher heart is your direct connection back to source. You will no longer need anything or anyone as assistance or as a middle man to source. No magical practice, no deity, no shaman, NO ONE OR NOTHING❣️

https://www.sacredgemstone.com/blogs/crystal-healing-blog/higher-heart-chakra-activations

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Amoraea_Flame

It’s All Good

To focus on only positive energy and everything associated with positivity when you become conscious is a disservice to universal law. The uninverse is duality and to focus on only one aspect over another limits your ability to fully comprehend creation. It’s a nice concept to be positive all the time and think good thoughts and keep your vibes high to stay connected to your spirit guides and what not. But what are you supposed to do when you have a bad day and everything is going wrong? Fake your happiness, put on one of those smiling masks and half wit your way through the day? No!

Understanding divine law is very important and necessary when your conscious. Bad days will happen, you know why? Because good days happen. The key with either day is being grateful and staying mindful regardless of the type of day your having. More importantly, sometimes flipping off a driver that cut you off will do your soul better than acting like them cutting you off didn’t bother you at all. Healthy expressions of anger is needed, healthy expressions of cussing somebody out that deserves it is needed.

One thing I do admire from the Bible stories of Jesus is that he didn’t take no shit. When preachers would read some passages of the New Testament on the actions of Jesus, they seemed to down play them and make it seem like Jesus was sweet and nice all the time. But that’s definitely not the impression I got of Jesus from some stories, in particular these two.

Story 1: The story about Jesus raising Lazarus. Long story short, the reason Jesus waited to raise Lazarus was because he was busy. Even after being approached several times by friends and family of Lazarus, Jesus had his breaking point and ended up telling one lady off. I took that passage as him saying “Bi***, I’ll be there when I get there.” My interpretation is a little harsh but that’s how I interpreted it. Jesus didn’t stop the work he was doing for just one person even if it was his friend. He prioritized and made a decision to deal with something when he had the time to. Shoot, it wasn’t like Lazarus was going anywhere!

Story 2: The story about Jesus and the Temple. I absolutely loved this story as kid and greatly more as an adult. When Jesus came upon the Temple and the people were using it basically as a flea market. He flipped out and kicked all the people out the temple. In my head, I saw him flipping tables over, beating people with sticks, throwing stuff at people and so on. Jesus was not about being disrespected or having places connected to him disrespected either.

Being able to accept the good and bad, positive and negative in your life and more importantly, in yourself is one of the greatest accomplishments one can achieve while walking the conscious path.

Magic Death

The Earth and its inhabitants are linked via consciousness, which is an energetic network that connects everything and everyone. Everything is energy……our thoughts, our voice, and our bodies, all produce energetic vibrations. From the Mental Realm down to the Physical Realm is energy vibrating. The physical realm is our energy source aka soul vibrating in its lowest state via our DNA to create our cells, our bones, our skin, our hair, and so on. The tyrants controlling our planet feed off our energy, so you can think of them as parasitic dimensional beings. Our planet and the creatures upon it are constantly emitting energy, even when we’re sleeping. The best way to visually explain what humans are to these tyrants is the scene from The Matrix when Neo takes the red pill and wakes up in the human breeding station.

These parasites must manipulate us and the energy they extract from us to make it digestible by them. These tyrants aren’t benevolent or loving beings, they are from the complete opposite side of love on the vibrational scale. With love (the highest vibrational form of energy) being at one end and fear (lowest vibrational form of energy) being at the other, these tyrants are the physical manifestation of fear. They need the lowest vibrational form of energy to replenish their energetic needs, that’s why they use scare tactics and fear mongering to distort the energy we emit. They need humans and this Earth vibrating at its lowest state to survive.

 A human’s life means nothing to them, only their agendas and self-preservation matter. More so, a human life doesn’t matter because they know we don’t actually die, our bodies do but our “energy source”/souls don’t. When our energy source starts vibrating in fear, causing all the cells in our body to vibrate in fear, the energy emitted prior and after death is harnessed. Now, when the surrounding circumstances causing the fear in the person/persons are perfectly orchestrated, the energy released is amplified. That’s why these tyrants perform ritualistic murders aka Magic Deaths. They utilize the universal forces via the elements, synchronicity, astrological alignments, placements on the earth/ley lines, earth vortexes/portals, animals/animal spirits, elemental creatures, alchemy, etc. to amplify the conditions to not only create the strongest energy they can harness, but to also cause a “rip” in time; which is like a placeholder or a pause in time, to extract the same amount of energy for eternity. That’s why after the most tragic events they create memorials either by statues, memorial services, and more importantly annual memorial events. Time is circular, so every time the date of that tragedy occurred; for example Kobe’s death on January 26, arrives via the solar calendar that rip in time will be accessible to harness that energy pocket, in addition to, create more energy due to people remembering the event and evoking the same emotions they felt on the day the tragedy happened. Example, this is why the Jewish Mystics keep the Holocaust on everyone’s mind. It’s a massive tragedy in time that is constantly being used to extract energy from and from the people who are affected by that tragedy. Same thing with slavery in United States, the racial tension and the continuous amount of events that occur that remind people of that moment of time, produces a massive amount of energy from that “rip”/energy pocket and from the people that are affected by those events; which is mostly everyone in the United States. Black and white issues are the forefront of every debate, regardless if the persons conducting the reporting or running the show are black or white. The topic can be about fashion, media, social media, athletes, movies, music, politics, etc. and some how some way majority of the time a black or white issue gets thrown into the mix. Here’s a moment of provoking thought…..Something absolutely terrible has happened on every continent on this planet and a memorial is associated with it.

With all that said, be mindful of what the media is reporting and forcing down your throats to “Pay Attention” to. Be mindful of those moments and remember that you have the right to not be affected by what they are telling you to be affected by. Try to operate from a place of neutrality, recognize the moment, see it for what it really is and let it move on by emotionally. Take back your control over how you emit your energy!

 

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Energy frequencies can be in the form of light or sound. Light and sound are frequencies of energy at different wavelengths and forms that carry codes. These energy frequencies then activate codes/sequences within our DNA that resonate with those particular energy frequencies. Higher frequencies activate and/or rebuild DNA codes that bring forth a higher consciousness, higher matter and assist in the connecting of all the codes back to their original state. Higher frequencies assist us with raising our awareness so our higher self can lower into our consciousness and help us to connect the puzzle pieces of ourselves. The highjacked magnetic field (an energy barrier) around earth blocks or destroys pure light frequencies (codes) that are freely being emitted by the sun and forever present in our universe. To keep humanity controllable and disconnected from each other and Creator Source, the barrier is used to transmit virus codes that interrupt and disburse our original higher dimensional DNA light codes during our descent into physical matter (birth). The deactivation of these higher dimensional codes destroys our link to the Creator Source. This then creates a God Complex within each person because our DNA/cellular memory remembers bits and pieces of the connection to Creator Source which is the universal consciousness aka the Bigger Picture. This creates a longing for “God”, a higher being, someone or something outside of ourselves. Due to this disconnection, we fail to remember that the higher being we’re searching for exist inside ourselves but we’re looking outside ourselves for it. To be able to get the connection back to Source, we have to go within to clear out the damaging factors (stress, fear, & trauma) the transmitted virusesprogramed into our energy fields, our consciousness and ourphysical bodies. To assist us with clearing the stress, fear and trauma in ourselves, we must go through darkness and expose the ugliness we try to hide from the world and more importantly from ourselves. The sun is always emitting light codes to help us genetically remember who we are, but those light rays/codes will never absorb and function properly if we are blocked with those virus programs. Those virus programs weigh us down and makes us stuck in this 3D realm (earthly problems). A lot of earthly natural cycles show us what we need to do to become a whole light being in a human body.

Sleep – we are in light (living during the day), then we go into darkness (sleep/death where we experience the “dream world”) to be awakened anew in light again. Rested and ready to take on another day. In the “dream world” is where your mind faces and processes fears and stressors from the day.

Rain – the day starts sunny and bright then the dark clouds form and darken the day. Rain occurs sometimes with thunder and lightning then the storm clears, and the sun shines again. 

Day/Night  in both day and night, we have guides to assist us on our journey through light and dark. The day has the sun and night has the moon. Even in darkness, we are not left alone to fumble through the process, the moon/light is still available for our guidance.

Complacency: Reflections of Self

After achieving what I thought I should as an adult, all those “accomplishments” lead to deep heart ache, pain, unhappiness and finding myself feeling empty, unsatisfied and alone.

After several months of being stuck in a void and I’m using the word void because I wasn’t sad or depressed, but I was in a state of emotionless. While in this void, my mind was on constant repeat, thinking the same thoughts over and over again. What am I doing wrong? How am I 34 and I don’t have anything together? Why do I feel so lost? While away on a trip I discovered several different topics and articles on Facebook that kept catching my interest. Figured if something keeps popping up I need to start paying attention to it. This began my journey into the unknown….. so I thought.

This journey of self-love, inner-peace, becoming spiritually in tune to my real self. The real Me and not who I think I should be, or who I thought I should be as a child or even when I thought I was in college, and definitely not who society says I should be. More importantly, not who my mom or my family think I should be or should have been.

My mind works differently from most, I noticed this at an early age. Always questioning life, rules, nature, adults and authority. Never took answers at face value and always wanted to learn beyond the surface. My mind sees disorder, chaos, things out of place and automatically starts analyzing and correcting them. I always thought it was my OCD until it enhanced my career by finding the flaws in a facility and their programs and on a personal level giving great advice. Unfortunately, it also gives off the persona of a “know it all” or always having something to say. Had to learn with maturity when to speak my truth and when to let people figure it out on their own. More importantly, not beat myself up when they fail or don’t figure it out. I’m a fixer by nature but everything and everyone doesn’t want to be fixed. Sometimes its best for things and people to stay broken. Can’t save the world by draining myself in the process. Learned to pick my battles so I can have successful wars.

The Funk


I’ve been in a blah state of mind lately. I guess you can call it a funk. Now that I’m coming into my true self I’ve been questioning a lot about myself and my life lately. Since I no longer have to do anything I don’t want to do. Since I no longer have to follow the rules and save face towards things and people I don’t care to entertain anymore. Now what?

Is this “funk” apart of my awakening, my journey? Or am I depressed and suppressing things in such a beautiful way it’s being disguised as a spiritual awakening?  Rewriting your present and future from the past 30+ years of rules, beliefs, dreams, etc. that have either been placed on me and I took them as my truth or society had pushed on me as the “ways” to become a successful, highly functional person is lonely and confusing. 

Sometimes I want to be around people than I know I won’t have much to talk to them about because I really want to talk about spiritual, in depth things and no “normal” person wants to talk about that. Sometimes I want to have a love interest than other times I feel like why bother, most men was scared of me when I was just intelligent and witty, now I’m intelligent, witty and awoke in my true self……a triple threat.

I just don’t know how to feel about this process that I’m in right now. I’m glad that I no longer have to be just to be and live just to live but I’m lonely and it’s starting to take a toll on me. I guess it’s time to start searching and “being” in this funk so I can find out why I’m feeling like this. Stay tuned!

This Too Shall Pass….


This world is going to shit and I’m ok with what’s happening. Before I knew what the Age of Aquarius meant, before I knew about the Divine Feminine, before I knew anything about my soul being consciousness inside this body for a reason, I use to fret about the happenings in this world. Christianity tainted and sculpted my view of events as the coming of Christ and the anti-Christ rising but in reality it’s the growing pains of this world changing on a spiritual level. 

The controllers of this world have been using the knowledge most people are just now coming into knowing since the beginning to try to control our lives on this planet. As with most people who come into knowledge and power, they have a choice to use it for good or use it for bad. I think most people don’t intentionally choose to be bad but sometimes the decisions we make can turn into bad one after bad one until they become a “bad person” and that person accepts themselves as being bad. The ego of these controllers is the driving force behind all of their actions. An ego that is selfish and makes them think they’re special because they know something others don’t. 

Now there are so many different theories out there on why Earth was inhabited with human beings. Such as an experiment on a new astral race to see what happens when we put souls in flesh and grant them free will to decide on there own what type of life they want to “live” while human. Erase their capabilities to be able to remember who and what they are and see which souls can find their way back to their true self and the soul source. Sounds like an experiment a scientist or doctor would do on a lower life form to learn how it functions, so the idea of a more knowledgeable supreme being or beings being able to do this on a mass scale really doesn’t sound to far fetched to me. I’ve experienced enough and trust my intuition to not sweep this theory to the side as false.

But trying to understand life through my mind is useless and it’s a practice I have to put into play to stop trying to do. Asking why is very beneficial for my mind and how I function as a person but I need to learn to allow the answers to flow to me by experiencing life. By enjoying nature, my kids and myself. In those moments the answers will come and when I sleep and my consciousness is able to free from this body the answers will come from outside realms. 

So as this world continues down this unavoidable path of destruction, I have stability within to keep calm and at peace with the growing pains. To take notice and keep a watchful eye because there’s nothing new under the sun and so many worlds, nations, empires have come and gone so eventually this world too shall pass.

Get Off of Me!


Yesterday I had a very weird experience. My daughter attends a toddler gymnastic class and there’s this couple that goes with their daughter. The mom gives off a weird vibe and I noticed it when I was around them during class changeovers prior to my daughter moving up into this new class. The only interaction I’ve had with the mom is one day during the beginning of class when the instructor was going over each floor obstacle she was in the way blocking everyone’s view like the instructor was only talking to her and her child. I nicely asked her could she move because we couldn’t see and I guess that was the end of us ever being parent friends. Since that day that woman will walk past me and my child like we don’t exist. They have a habit of sitting in front of the shoe storage cubby holes to change after class; which is where I put my daughter and I things. When I would say excuse me so I can get our things she would give me just this vague acknowledgment and slightly move to the left or right. Freaking annoying! 

Well, you know us empaths, I was wondering maybe I’m just overthinking it. Maybe I’m not picking up a weird vibe. Maybe she’s just an overbearing mom that overly critiques her 3 year kid because of her dreams of once wanting to become a gymnast. Maybe she’s a really nice mom, friend and girlfriend or wife and it’s just me, I’m just overthinking it. Well, at class yesterday we had a short trampoline lesson and her daughter freaked out from having all eyes on her during her turn. During her daughters freak out my daughter was being a butt and not listening, so the class moved on to a different apparatus and left both of us at the trampoline. While holding my daughter trying to calm her down, this woman sits down on the edge of the trampoline directly on my foot. When she sat on my foot I instantly had this overwhelming urge to pull my foot away so I did. She replies, oh I’m sorry and because I knew how ignorant it came off because of the speed and urgency I just ripped my foot from under her I responded it’s ok, even though it wasn’t. 

Immediately, I start feeling this burning sensation on my foot and on the lower part of my leg because apparently she touched me there when she sat on me. I start freaking out on the inside because I realize I was right, this woman’s vibes are all wrong and now she’s passed that energy to me. My leg starts burning sp bad that I forget about my daughter who is cutting up and having a fit and start thinking about what I can put on my foot and leg to take away this horrible sensation. I think water but no it will just absorb and dry. Then I see hand sanitizer in the lobby. It has alcohol in it that gives off a cooling sensation when it drys so maybe it will counteract this burning sensation. So I grab some and rub it on my foot and leg and it works. 

Lesson learned here, follow your God given gifts and let them guide you. I didn’t have a feeling that this woman was a bad person just that she’s not someone I should be around or interact with. It took her touching me to get confirmation on that. I still don’t know why I can’t interact with her or why our energies/vibes are different but hey getting burned this way will be the only burn I need to maintain distance.