I’ve been in a blah state of mind lately. I guess you can call it a funk. Now that I’m coming into my true self I’ve been questioning a lot about myself and my life lately. Since I no longer have to do anything I don’t want to do. Since I no longer have to follow the rules and save face towards things and people I don’t care to entertain anymore. Now what?
Is this “funk” apart of my awakening, my journey? Or am I depressed and suppressing things in such a beautiful way it’s being disguised as a spiritual awakening? Rewriting your present and future from the past 30+ years of rules, beliefs, dreams, etc. that have either been placed on me and I took them as my truth or society had pushed on me as the “ways” to become a successful, highly functional person is lonely and confusing.
Sometimes I want to be around people than I know I won’t have much to talk to them about because I really want to talk about spiritual, in depth things and no “normal” person wants to talk about that. Sometimes I want to have a love interest than other times I feel like why bother, most men was scared of me when I was just intelligent and witty, now I’m intelligent, witty and awoke in my true self……a triple threat.
I just don’t know how to feel about this process that I’m in right now. I’m glad that I no longer have to be just to be and live just to live but I’m lonely and it’s starting to take a toll on me. I guess it’s time to start searching and “being” in this funk so I can find out why I’m feeling like this. Stay tuned!