Trauma, Drama & Fear

Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! These are the programs the matrix infuses us with from birth. Trauma, drama and fear keeps us locked in the mundane, always on fight or flight and stress hormones raging through our bodies. These influx of stress hormones keep us in a constant state of fear. To scared to look up, look around or get in tune with ourselves. Everywhere we turn the matrix is bombarding us with trauma, drama and fear. If it isn’t the news, it’s TV shows and movies. If it’s not coming from the tv, it’s coming from bullies, abusive parents, teachers, social media and your so called friends.

Earth is a locked down world and most beings that come here know the risks of entering this particular realm. But nothing ever prepares us for the constant bombardment of things to make you feel like an outcast and not from here. Most beings that come here automatically have a X on their back and the trauma, drama and fear programs are ramped up for them. Majority of the most gifted and phenomenal souls are tortured by society. Treated so badly from the TDF programming that they develop “mental issues”. A course many will question their sanity when they know who they are, the gifts and abilities inside of them, and the undeniable gut feeling that there’s more to life and to them than the crap their life keeps throwing at them.

Mental issues are spiritual attacks on a persons psyche and the programs trauma, drama and fear are groomers to impose these attacks. I’m not just making a general statement just to stir people up, I’m speaking from experience. My childhood was a terror, high school was a panic attack around every corner, college was the most loneliest time of my life, adulthood was a traumatic roll coaster, parenthood was and still is a never ending challenge and I could go on but I won’t.

The TDF attacked me as soon as I came out of the vagina! As soon as I was born I started having a seizure and was whisked away by the nurses, so I never got the mother -infant bond that is detrimental to forming as soon as a baby is born. My very first moments here were traumatic. Then, the trauma continued with an older brother that would beat the crap out of me in my crib and that developed into me being his torture doll every chance he got.

If I wasn’t getting TDF at home, I was getting it at school. I was picked on for being smart, being pretty, and being athletic but most of all for being so different. I absolutely loved animals, science and digging for crystals. I’m an animal whisperer and have a strong connection to nature. So, yes I was deemed weird when I would talk to peoples dogs and cats, respond to bird chirps or show a sheer fascination with big cats, especially tigers with my “friends”. I put friends in quotations because almost all the friends I’ve ever had did me dirty in some shape or form. Makes you question your character and your friend picking radar for sure.

I briefly mention some of my TDF moments to show that I’m not an outsider speaking on mental issues, because I was once diagnosed with many. I was told in high school I had depression and anxiety. And not knowing what I know now, I didn’t question it because I definitely had the symptoms. At times the loneliness and sadness was too much to bare and I would think about suicide and ending the pain. So, overtime I accepted my fate, popped pills and played happy. And a course life would through TDF every chance it could and I would backslide into depression once again. This cycle continued way into my 30s until I got with a therapist that knew her shit. I ended up finding her after I was diagnosed with bipolar by a different therapist. I was in an abusive marriage (blog for a later time) and I really felt lost and all over the place emotionally and mentally. After answering specific questions to figure out what mental issue I had, because you know they hand those diagnoses out like candy, my results chimed bipolar. When he told me I refused to accept it and found a different therapist.

Now with my new therapist and 3 sessions in, she stops our convo and tells me that I’m not bipolar for sure and yes I have the symptoms of depression and anxiety but my life has been a complete hell so why wouldn’t I. She further explains to me that these symptoms are just surface symptoms and the cause of them is PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. And I’m like WHAT! That’s what soldiers get. She then further explains that everyone experiences trauma in their life and everyone reacts to it differently. And for me a lot of traumatic events have shocked my system so badly that I’m constantly in a state of fight or flight. Riding the rollercoaster of life constantly worrying and stressing about what someone is going to do to me next. But the next thing she tells me over the course of our sessions of finding and releasing the traumatic experiences I was holding in my body and my psyche was life changing! My therapist never talked spiritually at all and she never asked me my beliefs. But one session she stops me in mid sentence and says, I’ve been listening to you and all these moments where you don’t acknowledge your greatness. People and events have beat you up to the point where you now hide who you are. You will continue to have these “mental issues” as long as keep playing small and denying who you truly are. In that moment it was like someone else, someone that really knew me channeled through her. I didn’t take her statement as her just talking to me, I took it as I was being chastised for not coming to this conclusion sooner.

From that day forward I took the lead in my life and started finding my way back to my true self. I no longer accepted that I was depressive or had anxiety and researched my “symptoms” and discovered I was an empath and that’s why I would get mood swings for no reason. I was picking up on other people’s energy and feelings around me and mistaken them for my own. The anxiety was necessary to protect me and keep me on guard, because I’m a warrior spirit. Always ready to fight and defend, so I had to learn how to relax, ground through meditation and develop my magical practices to release the pinned up energies within me.

Trauma, drama and fear is the program we all are bombarded with but with all things we can change how it effects us. Plus, with age I gained wisdom and was able to see TDF as a necessary catalyst to help many sleeping beings awaken. Through the toughest trauma, the strongest will survive and thrive. Diamonds are made under pressure and the enlightened are way more precious than a diamond, so our pressure has to be even heavier!

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