Shadow Work is Subconscious Work

A person bumps into you and you have hot coffee in your hands and it spills all over you and it burns bad. Reacting to the pain of the burn is healthy. Reacting to the anger you have towards the person who caused this to happen to you, because it caused physical pain is healthy. Allowing healthy responses to this incident is a must! Acting like no physical pain occurred and you are not angry is unhealthy. People need to understand that allowing an emotional response to occur is healthy. Eventually, being able to break the incident down to the core emotions so you can feel them, react to them, and forgive yourself for reacting to them is a key factor in doing Shadow Work, which I call Subconscious Work. Forgiveness also includes the person that caused you harm or pain, but only if they acknowledge what they’ve done. Because forgiveness is for your healing not theirs. Subconscious work is for the real spiritual people, not the love and light folks, so if they don’t apologize or acknowledge their fault, f*** them and keep it moving.

I included forgiving yourself, because no matter how spiritually adept someone becomes, we will still be human at the end of the day. And being a human being includes being emotional and ignoring our emotions is harmful and unhealthy. It doesn’t help that society frowns upon emotional people, specifically women, and that’s why emotions and being emotional gets a bad rep. But as humans we are composed of 4 bodies, which are the spiritual body, mental body, emotional body, and the physical body. The saying “stand on your square” directly relates to the acknowledgment of these four bodies aka four points.

4 bodies: Spiritual, Mental, Emotional and Physical

I mentioned above the term core emotions which correlate to our core beliefs. People only have 5 emotions that we experience on a scale of extremes or as a combination of the core 5 emotions. Disney put out a great movie a few years back that explores human emotions and their complexity called Inside Out. I highly recommend watching this movie if you want to start Subconscious Work and fully understand core emotions and beliefs.

Unfortunately, because a lot of people including myself at one point, see 4 of our core emotions anger, fear, disgust, and sadness as negative emotions, but they’re not. They are absolutely needed and need to be expressed to be a whole and healthy human being. These emotions that are associated with being dark and negative are the key emotions you focus on in Subconscious/Shadow Work. These dark emotions have dark positives, which I see as positive aspects to that emotion when its acknowledged and transmuted. For example, fear can be transmuted into rage when a woman is attacked by an attacker while walking at night. She can use that fear turned rage to defend herself against her attacker. Another example, fear can be transmuted to strength when a mother see’s her child get trapped under a car and she lifts the car up off of her child so she can get them out.

To fully understand how the subconscious works, you must correlate it to how the body does voluntary and involuntary actions. Voluntary actions are conscious actions and involuntary actions are subconscious actions. So, for example, conscious breathing is voluntary breathing. You are purposely making you lungs inhale and exhale air. Subconscious breathing is involuntary breathing which is your normal moment to moment breathing that happens without any guidance or will of your own. Without involuntary actions of the body, we wouldn’t be alive because involuntary actions run our entire body. From breathing to blood pumping to digestion. All actions we don’t have to tell our bodies to do. So, guess what, if involuntary aka subconscious actions run our bodies then the subconscious mind runs our mental and emotional bodies. Need proof, here’s a perfect example, zoning out while driving a car to work. When, you get to work and don’t remember driving there at all. You don’t remember seeing the typical sites you see during the drive in or anything. It’s because your subconscious got you there and your subconscious always gets there but when you zone out and come back to consciousness you become aware of the subconscious actions.

Furthermore, the subconscious is the involuntary mental and emotional actions that drive our core emotions and beliefs. When we push “negative” or “dark” emotions and experiences “deep inside” so we don’t have to deal with the feelings that arise or even acknowledge them at all is unhealthy. When you push those emotions “deep inside” you’re pushing them into your subconscious. Which is where they turn into involuntary actions that attach to core emotions or core beliefs, which the subconscious runs them. So, now you have that one horrible moment that happened when you were 5 years old running and controlling your life when anything that feels like that experience or emotions happen. You’ve created a circular habitual response in your life that will continue till you deal with the emotions attached to that experience. Dealing with those emotions includes revisiting that event in your mind or even the place, allowing the emotions to rise, feeling those emotions play out, releasing the emotions, then forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to feel because “You’re human and you’re allowed.”

Yemaya

The morning of August 19, 2020, 3 days after my birthday, I was visited in my dreams by a deity/orisha. Below is what happened in my dream, written down in my phone as soon as I woke up so I wouldn’t forget anything.

I was in a dark place with water beneath my feet. I could hear the water and see it as if I was seeing clearly in the dark. Like when your eyes adapt to a dark room. Suddenly appears a woman over the water and I look up at her and see the crescent moon above her head and stars in the sky. She her arms out stretches to me in a position of embrace and waiting for me to come into her arms for a hug. Her face is covered by a veil of jewels, she has a white blank expression mask over her face, she’s draped in a bluish cale dress that is puffy-like and she has horns on her head like a large cattle with pearls hanging from them.

She says to me “come child” and I go to her and she hugs me, embraces me and comforts me and all feels better. Like when you hug your mom and she absorbs all your pain from you because that what mothers do. She tells me to tell her about me, so I told her about myself; which was all the pain I’ve occurred over the years. Being mad fun of as a kid and having no friends because I was different and in-tune. I tell her about the abuse I endured at the hands of my ex-husband and I burst out crying. Then, I tell her about how my spiritual awakening happened after my divorce.

Then we abruptly we was sitting at a table eating while telling her these things about me. When at the table she was a regular woman. She looked like black Latino with long curly hair and fair skin.

She tells me that she’s comes to guide me. At the table there is a man and a woman who aren’t speaking. I ask her why the 2 other people are with her and she says they are support.

Now we’re I’m sitting on a couch and she’s on the floor sitting in front me. She then asks me how was my journey with Christianity and I replied harshly with “none existent, I don’t follow that crap”. She replies, we don’t care if people do. I then reply, I don’t because I hate being lied to and religion is one of the biggest lies ever. Plus, the reason for what’s really wrong on this earth.

Then she was going to do a reading for me. We were clearing off the couch, I started the recorder on my phone so I could record the session. Then she sat back on the floor then I was out of the dream.

I’ve never been drawn to any of the African deities or Orishas. It’s always been Egyptian and Sumerian deities that have come to me. But I was told during an akashic reading that one of my karmas is finding my earthly and galactic ancestral lineage. My DNA ancestry has my African lineage in Nigeria, Cameroon, South Africa, Sudan, Ethiopia and so on. Those cultures are Yoruba, Bantu, Kushites, Khoisan, Zulu, Khmer and Fulani.

So it’s about time I started my bonding with these ancestors and their deities. This experience helped me learn that Yemaya is my Ori and is protecting my head. I thank, welcome and honor her and appreciate her protection and guidance.

My personal drawing of how Yemaya appeared to me in my dream
Yemaya dress looked just like this
Yemaya had this same mask on
Yemaya appeared to me in this same position with arms outstretched, veil over her face, over water and the crescent moon and stars above her head