As I sit here in my mother’s church on Easter, I just don’t feel right. As I listen to the preacher read from the Bible and preach his sermon, I stare at the window panes of white biblical figures in a predominantly black church….. I just don’t feel right. As they continually sing and preach about Jesus a made up name to a real historical figure who’s story was taken and changed to fit an agenda, I just don’t feel right. As they call him the king of Jews and we are a predominantly black church and the Jewish community doesn’t even support us in our strife and injustices that happen to us in our city, I just don’t feel right. As my sister and my mom get on my kids about bowing their head to pray and standing during songs, I just don’t feel right.
Am I doing the right thing by still participating on this Christian holiday when I know this religion is so false and these religious folks don’t even know what and where Easter comes from? Now, I’ve shared with my children facts on why we are no longer Christians and have fully engulfed spirituality in the ways we see fit, but I still “celebrate” Easter and Christmas. More so, because I love the Christmas and Easter holiday, decorating, giving gifts and eating good food. But I just don’t feel right having to submit myself and my kids to being disciplined for not following these church rules or sitting through the things I’ve taught them are the reasons why we don’t do the church thing anymore.
Next year, I’m going to have to put more thought into this because I can no longer be contradictory to my own beliefs.