Get Off of Me!


Yesterday I had a very weird experience. My daughter attends a toddler gymnastic class and there’s this couple that goes with their daughter. The mom gives off a weird vibe and I noticed it when I was around them during class changeovers prior to my daughter moving up into this new class. The only interaction I’ve had with the mom is one day during the beginning of class when the instructor was going over each floor obstacle she was in the way blocking everyone’s view like the instructor was only talking to her and her child. I nicely asked her could she move because we couldn’t see and I guess that was the end of us ever being parent friends. Since that day that woman will walk past me and my child like we don’t exist. They have a habit of sitting in front of the shoe storage cubby holes to change after class; which is where I put my daughter and I things. When I would say excuse me so I can get our things she would give me just this vague acknowledgment and slightly move to the left or right. Freaking annoying! 

Well, you know us empaths, I was wondering maybe I’m just overthinking it. Maybe I’m not picking up a weird vibe. Maybe she’s just an overbearing mom that overly critiques her 3 year kid because of her dreams of once wanting to become a gymnast. Maybe she’s a really nice mom, friend and girlfriend or wife and it’s just me, I’m just overthinking it. Well, at class yesterday we had a short trampoline lesson and her daughter freaked out from having all eyes on her during her turn. During her daughters freak out my daughter was being a butt and not listening, so the class moved on to a different apparatus and left both of us at the trampoline. While holding my daughter trying to calm her down, this woman sits down on the edge of the trampoline directly on my foot. When she sat on my foot I instantly had this overwhelming urge to pull my foot away so I did. She replies, oh I’m sorry and because I knew how ignorant it came off because of the speed and urgency I just ripped my foot from under her I responded it’s ok, even though it wasn’t. 

Immediately, I start feeling this burning sensation on my foot and on the lower part of my leg because apparently she touched me there when she sat on me. I start freaking out on the inside because I realize I was right, this woman’s vibes are all wrong and now she’s passed that energy to me. My leg starts burning sp bad that I forget about my daughter who is cutting up and having a fit and start thinking about what I can put on my foot and leg to take away this horrible sensation. I think water but no it will just absorb and dry. Then I see hand sanitizer in the lobby. It has alcohol in it that gives off a cooling sensation when it drys so maybe it will counteract this burning sensation. So I grab some and rub it on my foot and leg and it works. 

Lesson learned here, follow your God given gifts and let them guide you. I didn’t have a feeling that this woman was a bad person just that she’s not someone I should be around or interact with. It took her touching me to get confirmation on that. I still don’t know why I can’t interact with her or why our energies/vibes are different but hey getting burned this way will be the only burn I need to maintain distance.

Maybe This Spiritual Thing Isn’t For Me


Today was a rough day for me and I almost resorted back to the old me. I was about to say forget all of this mindfulness and spiritual growth. Today was a reminder that no matter how spiritual I am and how intune I am to my higher self, I’m still human and in this world. 

Today I learned that my ex-husband has either illegally sold the vehicle I’m jointly on with him or he is hiding the vehicle from the bank and the repo company. The beginning of April he was supposed to voluntary turn over the vehicle to the bank and today (several weeks later) I learned that he gave them an address to pick up the vehicle but never showed up and now is not answering his phone or returning their phone calls. Then to make matters worse, he is now flaunting around a new vehicle on Facebook. A course when I learned this the old me started calculating and plotting to get my vehicle back and to f*** this dude up. But I caught myself and calmed myself down and got up to start walking around to distract myself and break up bad thoughts. 

With all that this man has done to me, not once have I ever wanted to get him back. I don’t know what triggered me with this situation to react in this way. But I’m glad that I was able to notice myself going down that rabbit hole and was able to stop it. Nothing good would have come from me getting revenge against him, especially with him being a narcissistic sociopath other than karma against myself and an endless cycle of him thinking he can continue to have access to me. 

Today I’m very thankful of my spiritual growth and maturity. Being able to control my thoughts to help keep me out of trouble and out of jail, so I can let my lawyer and the authorities handle this mess.

Eggs, Candy, and Bunnies: The Great Christian Holiday

When I first started to question Christianity 7 yrs ago, Easter along with Christmas was dissected. Learning that paganism was mixed with Christianity was a shock to me. I started thinking my whole life was a lie and it was! I started changing how I was going to “celebrate” Easter so I wouldn’t go to hell for still going along with the tradition because I had kids’ dreams I didn’t want to crush. 

But I was looking at it all backwards, they mixed Christianity with paganism to give it some substance, some truth. I actually hate using the word pagan or paganism because these cultures and beliefs were founded in more spirituality then Christianity was. Believing in the mystical, the unseen, the earth, the stars, etc. isn’t paganism, it’s truthful, honest and raw spirituality. 

I come from a long line of ministers on both sides of my parents’ family. My mom’s mom, my grandmother was a minister and we would talk a lot but never about anything spiritual. Regardless, when I found out about Easter and Christmas I asked my mom if grandma knew about this because she had to of none. My mother replied yes but she wanted us to still enjoy the perks of those holidays. A part of me was upset with that response but I knew where my grandmother was coming from. Also I wasn’t upset at my mom for knowing and faking through the belief system with us when we were kids because I didn’t hold her obviously to standard of my grandmother the minister. 

But now knowing the difference between spirituality and religion I don’t care for this subject anymore but I’m writing about it because of something I saw on Facebook. A lot of christians share and like posts like the photo above and still go full throttle for Christianity. You know it’s a lie, it’s con mans job, an impersonator religion but they’re still fully committed to giving this religion 100% of themselves, their money, their time. It puzzles me and I watch this unfold on Facebook every year around Easter and Christmas with posts about how these pagan holidays are the complete foundation for Christianity’s main events. But these christians still attend their daily music practices, coordinate their plays, buy their Sunday best and role play along. Just puzzling!

Catharsis II: Laughter

Funny Mommy Story Time!

dog waste

One day during my oldest son’s soccer practice, I went on a walk with my youngest son on the trails. During our walk we talked about a lot of different topics while we passed a lot of other walkers with their dogs. We came upon a trash can specific for dog waste and my son asked me what the trash can was for because there was a picture of a dog on it. I proceeded to tell him that the trash can is for dog poop. I then pointed to the little plastic bags on the side of the trash can and continued to tell him that people pick up their dogs poop and put it in these certain trash cans.

The look on my son’s face after my explanation was very troubling to me because I couldn’t understand why he had a look of confusion. So I asked him what’s wrong, do you not understand something. My son then says “So people pick up their dogs so they can poop in a trash can?” I stare at him for a moment and then bust out laughing. I don’t know how my explanation confused him to that conclusion, but man that boy was so serious with that question I just had to laugh and so did he.

State of Confusion

guides

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had some very interesting things happen to me spiritually wise. I was visited by “guides” during several dreams that exposed me to a lot knowledge. I was very excited to have these encounters until a course I started thinking about what they shared with me, then my excitement turned to confusion. ¬†As I did my research and followed the bread crumbs the guides would leave me to find books they wanted me to read to help myself become clear or putting what I thought was a random actress Scarlett Johansson in my dream but later that day came across an article that resonated with me and guess who was on the image of the article….. Scarlett Johansson from the movie Lucy. I was receiving a lot of confirmations of the things they were showing me in my dreams in my waking life, once again was very exciting but then it turns into confusion.

As I read more articles and researched more topics on spiritual awakening and the universal consciousness, I became jaded. I always thought I was special, one of kind and having these dreams and interacting with these guides was like my confirmation that “Yes, I am special and all the pain and suffering I’ve had through out my life wasn’t in vain. All the solitude and not being able to connect with most people because I couldn’t think on their level or relate to their materialism and selfishness wasn’t in vain. All the isolation and changing who I was to be able to fit in then later in adulthood saying screw this I’m being me, wasn’t in vain. Hiding my strengths and my abilities so people wouldn’t think I was weird in hopes it would help me fit in, wasn’t in vain.” But then to learn that so many other people are having the same experiences that I’m having with my guides and the knowledge they’ve showed me I became disappointed. My uniqueness and these extraordinary encounters with these guides no longer felt special to me anymore. Once again I know I’m dealing with my ego in regards to my disappointment but I just can’t shake this feeling of being jaded. I wanted these encounters to be unique to me and me only. I wanted to be special, I needed to be special. But now I’m back at feeling confused and wondering what to do from here. What to do with the knowledge that has been given to me. How do I get past my ego so I can continue my journey now knowing I’m unique in knowing this knowledge but not unique in being a messenger of it.