Dear Dairy – #4

June 24, 2021 during a shamanic journey I was shown some interesting information about myself. I am a “black” extraterrestrial and I accept this about myself. I know some of my ancient lineage and these shamanic journeys help solidify information that has been shared with me via dreams, readings and how the Earth and nature interacts with me.

Once deep under while listening to the music, I was approached by 2 Annunaki brethren. They were exceptionally large with long curly beards, had the typical Sumerian head wear, were shirtless with a skirt like bottoms, but had no solid form. They were outlined figures, ghost or transparent like aspirations. They bent down to where I was laying on the floor and said, “Rise up sister”. In that moment, I sensed that they were my brothers, not brothers as from the same mom but brothers as we were genetically linked due to being formed by the same creator. As the entity inside me stood up, I was way bigger than them. I had a beard, the same typical Sumerian head dress as my brothers but was in a white one shoulder robe. I was androgynous and felt the masculine and feminine energies in me. The Primal Gods are goddesses, were created first and exceptionally large that house masculine and feminine energies. I was told via readings and dreams that I was a primordial, so seeing this version of myself made sense. And seeing that I was bigger than my brothers made sense as well. I had wavy long black hair down my back and a ponytail in a gold clamp on top of my head that turned into fire when I would illuminate. As I continued to stand up, I rose into these gray clouds in the sky. My aura radiated rainbow iridescent colors and the energy around my hands and fingers were the same. I would point at the sky and a rainbow would shoot out of my fingers creating platforms from the sky to the ground. I sense that these rainbow platforms are for souls to leave the matrix.

I expanded so tall that I reached the shield over the Earth, hit it but it didn’t break, and I couldn’t penetrate it. As I look up at the shield, I saw the code, the digital sequence that made up the shield, and I touched it and the shield instantly started to dissolve. Once the shield was cleared from above me, I saw a midnight blue sky, the real sky for Earth which is the cosmic realm filled with portals that are now called stars. The sky looked just like the midnight blue sky I saw on Sirius. Then I was pulled back consciously to the room I was at due to the music switching over to gospel music, so I asked my brethren to help me escape the music. They took me to a place outside of the universe where the Cosmic Thoughts are. A section of the universe where all thoughts are generated if it exists it is there. From this realm of the universe, I watched the creation of galaxies until I began my descent back to Earth. As I laid back down into my body, my brethren bent over me and grabbed hold of a parasite that looked just like the Alien movie hatchling out of my core.

It Was Real All This Time

I had a very revealing dream last night that I’m going to share. I have dreams where I go back to places, cities and houses that never change and the scenario around those places typically stay the same as well. For example, the house I lived in when I was in high school, I go to it in my dreams sometimes and everything in it and around it is always the same. In another dream, I own a house that I can’t sell and its fallen apart. The ceiling has holes, exposed wood beams and water damage from leaking pipes in the ceiling. The walls have water damage and is sagging. The shower I use doesn’t work right and I always have to stand to the left in the shower to get the water pressure to come out just right, but the left of the shower is the curtain, so majority of the shower is spraying out and on to the floor. The house is humongous, and I have rooms in other parts of the house that aren’t older or have any issues at all. Always in this dream I can’t sell the house and I’m living in it trying to make things work till it does sell.

Now, I have another dream place I go to that is the city of Pittsburgh and its surrounding cities but it’s different. There is a bridge over a waterway, but the waterway is huge and very wide. This bridge is always the bridge I take to get downtown. There are other bridges but I never take those. The exits off the right side of this bridge always go to the same places within downtown and the far left exit off the bridge takes you to the wilderness on the other side of the Squirrel Hill tunnel. The main street downtown is Penn Ave and its very busy with people and has multiple shops that sell clothes, shoes, hats, jewelry, kid’s clothes and so on. But for some reason when you travel this street upward out of the city it takes you through Wilkinsburg directly to Forest Hills, a suburb in real life Pittsburgh which is like 10 – 15 minutes outside of Pittsburgh. This part of Penn Ave in my dream, there are side streets that take you directly to a rural area and another street that takes you deeper into Wilkinsburg and further up Penn Ave there are side streets that take you to different areas within Forest Hills. As I stated the shops along this Penn Ave in the dream are always the same and the food places are always the same. The shops are like “hood” stores where they have off brand clothes hung up all over the wall, racks in the middle of the store are overstocked and cluttered, the display counters contain fake bling jewelry, shoes and shoe boxes stacked up along the aisles and so on. The street is reminisced of Penn Ave in East Liberty before it was gentrified.

Last night in my dream I was on this Penn Ave and guess what……it was gentrified! All the hood shops were gone and were now coffee shops, cafes, and boutiques. The hustle and bustle of people that normally would be walking up and down the street and hanging on the block were gone. I stopped a guy while walking the street to ask him for the location of a store that used to be where I was standing, and he tells me it’s gone now. Then he says some landmark place that the street was known for was now turned into a church. Now that I’m awake I can’t remember the name of the landmark place but in the dream I recognized the name and remembered it, but I was also aware to the fact that it had been a minute since I’ve dreamed this “dream” Pittsburgh and Penn Ave. I actually recognized the time lapse since I last been in this dream place. So, in the dream when he told me this I was in shock and didn’t believe him. As I was walking towards that landmark place he mentioned, the memory of it was in the back of my mind. When I get to it, I’m thrown back while looking at the outside and its painted an olive green color over the old red brick, the edges of the building are now painted to look like black trim, and there’s hanging plants along where the entrance used to be and a “Amplify Church” sign is now hanging where the entrance was with huge store front windows in its place. To emphasize how mind blowing this was in my dream, Amplify Church is a real church in the “real” Pittsburgh area. While dreaming it hits me………all this time I was thinking this “place” was a dream that I would have every now and then and it wasn’t. I was actually going to a real place that exists! I’ve been going to a Pittsburgh on a different timeline or dimension. And this “dream” Pittsburgh’s Penn Ave was now gentrified like the Penn Ave in the “real” Pittsburgh I’m in when I’m in my waking state. I became aware or conscious to this while dreaming!

It didn’t hit me till today to question, how am I able to go back to places if they are just a dream? Back to places that have the same people I interact with, the same situations, I do the same routines as if I was awake, such as going to work, drinking tea every morning and driving the same roads to work like I do in my waking state. In these dream places, I’m always dealing with the same stuff, like with that house I can’t sell. The last time I had the “can’t sell my house” dream, it had been so long since it hasn’t sold the kitchen was remodeled. I recognized that it was remodeled in my dream and the ceiling that was always sagging and dripping water was repaired, but in the back of mind in the dream I recognized the time lapse but there wasn’t an “in dream” realization like with the Penn Ave gentrification.

I know that we go other places when we go to sleep, whether its astral traveling or our consciousness going to different dimensions and timelines. I read about it in books, I know I experienced it and some dreams I’m able to remember and I write them down. I tell myself all the time to look at my dreams as actual things that are happening to me. But to actually realize and become aware while still dreaming is always a wake-up call to how things really are. To me it’s like reading about tigers, my favorite animal, and researching them to learn all you can about them, but seeing one in real life with your own 2 eyes is a totally different experience. You realize in that moment they aren’t just something you read about or see pictures of on the internet, they are real living, breathing majestic animals.

There is no sleep and awake or life and death, just blurred lines between different states of being. When you sleep you are only resting the body, the vessel that houses your energy aka spirit and soul. The spirit and soul doesn’t need sleep, so while your body sleeps the spirit and soul can then go interact with its other bodies and vessels its connected to aka your other selves. For example, your body is made up of gazillion cells, all those cells are connected to create your organs and body, but these cells aren’t all the same. You have hair cells, eye cells, nail cells, heart cells, lung cells, skin cells and so on. Even the skin cells differentiate into different types of skin cells. You have the bottom of your feet cells, the top of your feet cells, your toenail cells, the cells that make up your blood vessels in your feet and so on. All those cells still have the same energy, your spirit and soul, flowing through them. Now with this picture of all these different cells in mind, see that on a macro scale of “as above, so below”. You have other you’s on different timelines, dimensions, galaxies, and multiverses. The different feet cells scenario is comparative to you being on different timelines. You on different branches of timelines when put together creates the whole you, just like those different cells within the foot creates the whole foot. Just like source or the all-knowing goddess/god is connected to all, you on a micro scale is connected to all the versions of you on different timelines and dimensions. The awareness of it is one of the purposes of “raising your consciousness” to become aware to all of who you are and where you are.

Every fork in the road of decision making can put you on a different timeline. Hence, why people get déjà vus, feeling like they’ve done something before or a moment in time feels familiar to them even though they know they didn’t do or say what was happening in that moment. You are picking up aka becoming aware to your other timeline selves and their decisions. I think once we become aware to these different timelines via “dreams” or deja vus, we will accept the unknown and what has been taught to us about dreams since we were children was completely false.

Trauma, Drama & Fear

Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! Trauma, Drama and Fear, Oh My! These are the programs the matrix infuses us with from birth. Trauma, drama and fear keeps us locked in the mundane, always on fight or flight and stress hormones raging through our bodies. These influx of stress hormones keep us in a constant state of fear. To scared to look up, look around or get in tune with ourselves. Everywhere we turn the matrix is bombarding us with trauma, drama and fear. If it isn’t the news, it’s TV shows and movies. If it’s not coming from the tv, it’s coming from bullies, abusive parents, teachers, social media and your so called friends.

Earth is a locked down world and most beings that come here know the risks of entering this particular realm. But nothing ever prepares us for the constant bombardment of things to make you feel like an outcast and not from here. Most beings that come here automatically have a X on their back and the trauma, drama and fear programs are ramped up for them. Majority of the most gifted and phenomenal souls are tortured by society. Treated so badly from the TDF programming that they develop “mental issues”. A course many will question their sanity when they know who they are, the gifts and abilities inside of them, and the undeniable gut feeling that there’s more to life and to them than the crap their life keeps throwing at them.

Mental issues are spiritual attacks on a persons psyche and the programs trauma, drama and fear are groomers to impose these attacks. I’m not just making a general statement just to stir people up, I’m speaking from experience. My childhood was a terror, high school was a panic attack around every corner, college was the most loneliest time of my life, adulthood was a traumatic roll coaster, parenthood was and still is a never ending challenge and I could go on but I won’t.

The TDF attacked me as soon as I came out of the vagina! As soon as I was born I started having a seizure and was whisked away by the nurses, so I never got the mother -infant bond that is detrimental to forming as soon as a baby is born. My very first moments here were traumatic. Then, the trauma continued with an older brother that would beat the crap out of me in my crib and that developed into me being his torture doll every chance he got.

If I wasn’t getting TDF at home, I was getting it at school. I was picked on for being smart, being pretty, and being athletic but most of all for being so different. I absolutely loved animals, science and digging for crystals. I’m an animal whisperer and have a strong connection to nature. So, yes I was deemed weird when I would talk to peoples dogs and cats, respond to bird chirps or show a sheer fascination with big cats, especially tigers with my “friends”. I put friends in quotations because almost all the friends I’ve ever had did me dirty in some shape or form. Makes you question your character and your friend picking radar for sure.

I briefly mention some of my TDF moments to show that I’m not an outsider speaking on mental issues, because I was once diagnosed with many. I was told in high school I had depression and anxiety. And not knowing what I know now, I didn’t question it because I definitely had the symptoms. At times the loneliness and sadness was too much to bare and I would think about suicide and ending the pain. So, overtime I accepted my fate, popped pills and played happy. And a course life would through TDF every chance it could and I would backslide into depression once again. This cycle continued way into my 30s until I got with a therapist that knew her shit. I ended up finding her after I was diagnosed with bipolar by a different therapist. I was in an abusive marriage (blog for a later time) and I really felt lost and all over the place emotionally and mentally. After answering specific questions to figure out what mental issue I had, because you know they hand those diagnoses out like candy, my results chimed bipolar. When he told me I refused to accept it and found a different therapist.

Now with my new therapist and 3 sessions in, she stops our convo and tells me that I’m not bipolar for sure and yes I have the symptoms of depression and anxiety but my life has been a complete hell so why wouldn’t I. She further explains to me that these symptoms are just surface symptoms and the cause of them is PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. And I’m like WHAT! That’s what soldiers get. She then further explains that everyone experiences trauma in their life and everyone reacts to it differently. And for me a lot of traumatic events have shocked my system so badly that I’m constantly in a state of fight or flight. Riding the rollercoaster of life constantly worrying and stressing about what someone is going to do to me next. But the next thing she tells me over the course of our sessions of finding and releasing the traumatic experiences I was holding in my body and my psyche was life changing! My therapist never talked spiritually at all and she never asked me my beliefs. But one session she stops me in mid sentence and says, I’ve been listening to you and all these moments where you don’t acknowledge your greatness. People and events have beat you up to the point where you now hide who you are. You will continue to have these “mental issues” as long as keep playing small and denying who you truly are. In that moment it was like someone else, someone that really knew me channeled through her. I didn’t take her statement as her just talking to me, I took it as I was being chastised for not coming to this conclusion sooner.

From that day forward I took the lead in my life and started finding my way back to my true self. I no longer accepted that I was depressive or had anxiety and researched my “symptoms” and discovered I was an empath and that’s why I would get mood swings for no reason. I was picking up on other people’s energy and feelings around me and mistaken them for my own. The anxiety was necessary to protect me and keep me on guard, because I’m a warrior spirit. Always ready to fight and defend, so I had to learn how to relax, ground through meditation and develop my magical practices to release the pinned up energies within me.

Trauma, drama and fear is the program we all are bombarded with but with all things we can change how it effects us. Plus, with age I gained wisdom and was able to see TDF as a necessary catalyst to help many sleeping beings awaken. Through the toughest trauma, the strongest will survive and thrive. Diamonds are made under pressure and the enlightened are way more precious than a diamond, so our pressure has to be even heavier!

Your Spiritual Team

Every large corporation has a board, every wealthy person has a team and every superhero has a crew of experts to help them have clarity within the chaos. So, why wouldn’t the same be for people like me and you? Yes, I’m including you the reader, because you have to be an enlightened soul to be reading my blogs.

Due to the times we live in right now, there’s a lot of people waking up to their spiritual gifts and they want to share them with the world. So use it to your advantage and find people with specific gifts that can assist you on your path.

For example, I wanted to understand my purpose, my gifts and learn my true self, so I found readers that could give me different types of readings. I’ve gotten natal chart readings, starseed readings, akashic readings, ancestor readings and obi readings. Some readers I randomly came across on Facebook and others I met through someone else. But the end goal of these well discerned encounters was gaining spiritual insight about myself.

With the over saturation of metaphysical and spiritual businesses, take advantage of it and find legit people that can assist you, especially the people that know you are here on earth to fulfill a mission. And if you’re trying to start your own spiritual business, don’t feel discouraged due to how many people that have one or anyone close to you starting one too. Everyone has gifts and have the right to help the collective awakening and upliftment as they see fit. But just know, everybody isn’t for everyone. You will attract to you the ones you’re meant to assist.

Here’s a list of readers I use to assist me:

The Cosmic Owl – Astrologist

The Hebrew Mystic Healer – Akashic

Indigo Angel – Starseed Natal Chart

Ms. Jasa Johnson – Shamanism, Energy Work

4.19 Inc – Ancestors

Judi Vitale – Astrology

Let people who are skilled in gifts differently than yours be of council to you.

Give Thanks!

Thanksgiving is an iffy subject now a days since the truth has come to light about the misinformed beginnings of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was never about some Indians and pilgrims sitting down to have a meal. Thanksgiving isn’t about how the pilgrims turned on the Indians after this gracious meal, killed them and took their land. Thanksgiving isn’t about celebrating it or not celebrating it because of the tragedies that happened after that Thanksgiving meal. Just another ploy to keep their spell work surrounding Thanksgiving going. Thanksgiving is about celebrating the true meaning of why Thanksgiving was created in the first place among the indigenous/native people of the Amaraka lands that everyone now calls North and South America and Canada.

All cultures give thanks to their higher power during a feast or celebration either every year or at certain intervals within a year, so the natives of Amaraka were no different. The issue with Thanksgiving is making it a national holiday, having certain items on the dinner table or in drawings and people not knowing why these items are significant to the Thanksgiving celebration. Another issue with Thanksgiving is the cultural appropriation aka culture vulture of the feast by many and their ignorance being used to energize a spell that was casted when Thanksgiving began to be celebrated by the oppressive, non-native people and the making of it into a holiday. Side note, whenever a day is made into a holiday, you should look into what that day represents and research what holy days really are.

Why turkey? The main item associated with Thanksgiving is turkey and not many ask why a turkey, but I did several years ago. But it wasn’t until last week did I get an answer to that question. Many cultures perform sacrifices to their higher power, their god or gods or to the Divine. Many cultures perform animal sacrifices of animals that hold great purpose and power when these sacrifices are made. The natives of Amaraka held the turkey in high esteem and was an allowed edible bird by the Spirit of Earth/the Mother Goddess herself that could be used for a sacrifice. Plus, the turkey was large enough to feed an entire family, which was very significant for this particular celebration. With that said, not all animals or birds are deemed sacrificial and killing some, even accidentally, can cause a negative response from nature. For example, eagles or hawks are not sacrificial and that’s why they are protected. Side note, people should really look into why certain animals have government protection. So, turkeys were designated as the sacrificial animal for the Feast of Giving Thanks due to these reasons. To make a turkey a great sacrifice for the feast, the turkey was treated very good, feed and housed with love and loved on by the family. Then that loved spirit was released to Source with great gratitude from the family. Then the family would eat the turkey’s flesh while showing and speaking gratitude to Source and the Mother Goddess for providing for them while on this earth plane. Side note, this is another reason why turkey feathers are very sacred items.

Why the horn? The horn of plenty or the cornucopia is another symbol associated with Thanksgiving. So why is the horn apart of it and why is it always stuffed full of food, vegetables and fruits? Well, the horn of plenty is a container that houses abundance and shows a family’s prosperity for the year. Plenty is an actual energetic being/goddess. Over time when new cultures conquered another, they would change the names of these powers to fulfill their own needs and purposes. The goddess Plenty is also known as the goddess Ops, who is also known as the goddess Rhea in Greek mythology. The horn is an iconic object that represents this goddess. Doing further research, Plenty/Ops/Rhea is ultimately known as the Mother Goddess, which stated above is the Spirit of Earth. The Horn of Plenty is the Horn of the Mother Goddess and within that sacred container the natives of Amaraka would stuff it full of all the items they were able to harvest from the land that season. Place it on the table as a display of gratitude and thanks to Mother Earth for providing the family with a great harvest of abundance and prosperity.

Horn of Plenty, Horn of the Mother Goddess
The Mother Goddess

The spiritual implications of Thanksgiving becoming a national holiday and the story concocted to represent Thanksgiving is a spell. A spell to invoke trauma and create an energetic time loop that harnesses energy from that traumatic event. As I stated, Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the pilgrims and Indians but the story associated with it gets feed and the trauma to the people this event actually happened to lives on every year Thanksgiving is celebrated by this nation. To enhance the energetic pull of this spell, they made it a national holiday and most families that celebrate Thanksgiving pray to a god that isn’t who they think he is and those prayers/energy goes towards his belief systems and his devotees’ spell work. So, when Thanksgiving is celebrated out of its true contents, which many do, they are indirectly feeding the time loop spell surrounding this holiday.

So, please continue to celebrate Thanksgiving and make it an important celebration to share with your family. But celebrate it in its true purpose and content of the Feast of Giving Thanks. When rubbing down your turkey with butter, oil, seasoning, herbs and what not, do it with great love and gratitude for all the abundance and prosperity in your life and your families’ lives. Be grateful that you can afford to buy the turkey and all the food items that will accompany it on your dinner table. Before you eat, give thanks to the Mother Goddess/the Spirit of Earth and to the Source, the Divine, or your higher power for bringing the family together to enjoy this moment of togetherness and gratitude.



The fear is real and it’s very disheartening. I was on a call today with a few black mothers and unfortunately the conversation took a turn to the dark side. The dark side being the never ending topic of the year…..CVD. When asked why I wanted to be in the discussion I mentioned wanting to talk to other black mothers about the pressures of motherhood, working and trying to weigh my options regarding the mandates. That statement sent us straight to the dark side. The entire conversation from that point on was about everyone’s feelings about CVD. It got to the point I had to message the convo leader and apologize because I did not want this convo to be about CVD.

But an interesting thing happened during the conversation. A lady interrupted us stating she was being triggered by our conversation. When she started to talk and explain her reasoning, I was annoyed and disheartened by her responses. She described how since CVD hit she refuses to go outside unless it’s to the store, how she took her children out of daycare to keep them safe, and she and her family took the shot as soon as it was available. The fear in her eyes and in her voice was so real. And within that moment I checked in with myself and I was triggered. Triggered by the fact that this lady had succumb to the fear the media has been pushing in our faces about CVD. Triggered by her admittance of getting CVD even after getting the shot and her justification for still supporting the shot was that her viral load was less than what it would have been if she didn’t get the shot. WTF! How would know that? Just regurgitating shit a doctor told her with no proof. If you got the shot you’re not supposed to get the disease the shot was for! So, if your main reason for getting it was for your child and everyone in your household still got it…..what was the point?

All things start in the metaphysical/spiritual and then manifest in the material. The physical attack that’s occurring here started in the spiritual first. And the spiritual implications of the shot is being started in the physical. People are out here throwing away their spiritual nature and their divine make up out of fear. Even spiritualist are out here claiming sovereignty, love and light, positive vibes while sliding through the quick stick drive thrus. You can’t be a true sovereign being, know who you truly are, know the importance of protecting your genetics, mystical marvelous shaman priestesses or whatever you want to call yourself and still get the shot. It’s a hypocritical move and shows that your live according to the matrix and fear rules you, not your sovereignty.

It really does sadden me to know so many people are throwing away their sovereignty for vacations out of the country, going to concerts, money, etc. But as I write this, people are already devaluing themselves for these “freedoms” so why would it be any different for a shot. The illusion of freedom, because even though they took the shot they still have to where a mask, get tested or screened to go to any of these events or to leave or enter the country and so on. You got the shot to still be treated as if you didn’t! Once again, what was the point?

Harsh Reality

Scale of positive and negative, love a puppy or kill a puppy. One is seen as a positive and the other is seen as a negative. But the balance of this universe starts at maintaining balance. Thanos in Avengers purpose was to bring back balance to the universe. Emotionally it seemed harsh to knock out half of the universe population, but it was a necessary evil to reset the balance. Emotions are a human trait, not a “God” trait. So when “evil” is done on this planet, god-like beings aren’t emotionally affected. They see the event as a necessary balancing act. “Only the dead aren’t moving, everything else in this universe is.” So to maintain balance on a scale that’s always moving between positive and negative, both “good” and “evil” acts must occur.

So, when you question how can terrible things happen in this world, know that the powers that manipulate and pull the cords for these terrible things to occur do not function in “humanity”. The key thing that makes a human a human are emotions, the foundational meaning for humanity. Only humans have emotions, energetic reactions that rule over the lower chakras of a person (root, sacral and solar plexus). Higher beings do not have emotions as so many movies display when it comes to extraterrestrials. The main thing in common with these movies are humans trying to get the extraterrestrial to experience emotions or make decisions based on their “humanity”. But these beings don’t understand it because they’re not human or when they develop emotional responses they don’t like how it feels.

Releasing your humanity and no longer operating based on emotions is the key to raising your vibrations to be able to operate in your higher chakras. By operating in your heart chakra and up, you will unlock your spiritual chakras; such as your higher heart chakra, ancestral chakras, the 6D wing chakras, sol chakra and so on. Also, releasing your humanity opens you up to universal law, that doesn’t operate in right or wrong, good or evil, but in positive and negative. Because all that matters to universal law is balance and maintaining that balance, which things like war and peace are needed equally.

Functioning in humanity is the lowest vibrational state, just like the material world is the lowest vibrational state. When the spirit falls into material form, it does exactly that…fall in frequency to be able to materialize. This 3D realm they call earth is the toughest place to live in because of emotions. Emotions rule this world and conquering them is the true test for all of us incarnated in these bodies. You must conqueror the beast, which is your humanity aka emotions to awaken your god hood.

*Take what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t.

Can’t Fight This Feeling

It’s like no matter how well things have been going in my life or how well my days have been, I can’t fight the feeling of loneliness. I’ve been fighting this feeling for as long as I can remember, stemming all the way back to early childhood. I can remember being at family events and having no desire to interact with my cousins. I would find a spot in the corner and listen to the adults talk and sometimes interject my thoughts catching them off guard. Mainly, because I was child with intelligent answers to adult’s troubling questions, but more so because I was always around adults and really never with kids. I felt children were beneath me and I didn’t care for the silliness and young mindedness of them. All thoughts of a 4 yr old self. So I truly feel my disconnect with this world started before my time here but I’ll save that for another time.

Sadly, I can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely and left out. I just can’t truly connect with people and I don’t understand why. I’ve learned to entertain small talk and being a jokester at heart, I can keep a convo going but the feeling of loneliness never subsides. What is preventing me from connecting with people beyond the surface? Why can’t I have the same type of dialogues I have with myself in my own head with real people?

Since I’m always feeling disconnected from the 3D world and more in tune with the 4D and up worlds it affects my state of happiness in 3D. It’s like I can only stay happy for so long then the feeling of loneliness creeps back in, my mood changes and my vibes drop low. It’s a challenge everyday to keep my frequencies up. Being thankful and grateful for what I do have and don’t have helps, but then there’s days when I just have to let the loneliness win and let it run its course. Try not to attach to the feelings since they aren’t truly coming from me.

Feeling loneliness and disconnect for no reason at all are true signs that this matrix is doing its job. While here on this 3D plane we are bombarded with frequencies, images, music and chemicals that cause disharmony, self-doubt, loneliness, self-esteem issues and fear. Honestly, feeling these feelings is a reminder that we are separated from the Divine and need to find our way back. Back to oneness, wholeness and the dissolution of separation. People who can relate to what I’m talking about, knows these feelings and how out of place they are majority of the time. So, for those that know these feelings be grateful that you feel them because they are your reminder that you’re not of this world and just a visitor as well. Because in reality we are not alone or lonely, just stuck in our root chakra aka our lower self. We get stuck in this chakra by all those negative outside factors the matrix constantly bombards us with. Once you realize that the feeling of separation and loneliness is an illusion, you will start to work on yourself and finding your way back to the Divine.

You do this by learning your self through your own eyes and experiences. Removing the labels and goals that people placed on you all your life and finding your true and genuine likes and dislikes. Carving your own way within society or outside of society to get to the core of who you truly are. Showing gratitude in all that has happened to you and will continue to happen to you. By being on this internal quest for your true self, the rest of your chakras will ignite and open. Creating a bridge for the Divine to make its presents known in you and your surroundings. Raising your spirit’s frequencies so the Divine can lower itself aka your higher self aka your soul into your vessel, so you can operate in the material and spiritual realms….. the mundane and the quantum successfully! The way these physical vessels were originally created to be, portals between the material and spiritual.

With tuning yourself into the Divine, this opens you up to seeing the truth in all and the truth outside of this 3D matrix that is hidden from you. Seeing the truth of who you are, the magic encased in you and your power through your magic that can be used in the material and the spiritual realms. So,let the loneliness be your reminder that you are more than just this meat suit!

*PS – take all that resonates with you and leave what doesn’t.

Ancestor Veneration

I’ve never spoke on ancestor veneration or praising my ancestors while walking this spiritual path because I didn’t see how it pertained to me. I never understood why it was needed. Being a Christian damn near all my life tainted my view on all things spiritual. Even with all the things I have experienced and all the powers I have access to now, I was still looking at my path still through a Christian lense. Not fully able to see my ancestors as positive entities and energy that was supposed to be praised and acknowledged. Unable to truly experience divinity, because I didn’t see my ancestors as the key to my past, present and future. Yes, they have spoken to me, attended spiritual rites that occurred to me in the astral and on other realms, given me insight on my mom and sister, but never once did I truly feel I needed this connection with them to excel in life. I didn’t grow up in a household where we even acknowledged our ancestors or recently passed relatives, so including it now wasn’t understood or familiar.

After researching Ifa and Hoodoo, it became clear to me why ancestor veneration was a requirement for these practices. My genetics is the key to all and that key wouldn’t have been made available to me if they didn’t come before me. Knowing I come from a lineage of priestesses and priest, how can I excel and reawaken this in our family if I don’t stand on the shoulders of the ones that came before me and are excited that I’m here to finally put our lineage back on track. I’m not only powerful but my children are powerful. How can I truly help them mold their gifts if I don’t first call on the ones before us that contributed to the potency of our gifts. We are powerful and tapped in because the knowledge was already inscripted in our DNA before we even got here.

So, a couple of days ago I sat down at the altar I put together a year or so ago and spoke to my ancestors. They came through and told me how they want their altar to look and the items they wanted included. Yesterday, I was finally able to make it to my favorite witchy supply store aka Dollar Tree and get some supplies. This morning I set up my ancestor altar in a separate space from my working altar. Laid the lace, goblet of water, cup of fruit, my maternal grandma’s favorite cookies and placed 3 photos. Lit my white candle and asked for their assistance throughout the day and in return offered myself to be of assistance to them.

Back story, butterflies are my mom’s side of the family totem. The story is when my grandad/mother’s dad was lowered into the ground a sworn of butterflies appeared and surrounded everyone. So, butterflies were incorporated into everything from that day forward. I even have 3 butterflies tattooed on me. But ever since I had my falling out with my mom, my association with butterflies has been a little tainted. But this morning, when I was getting in my car to take my daughter up to the bus stop, I noticed a white bug on my seat. Thrown back but calm surprisingly, I looked closer and noticed it was a very furry white spotted moth. Absolutely gorgeous and stunning to see! Reminded me of those cute moths I’ve seen posted on Pinterest. So beautiful it could of been mistaken for a butterfly. I’ve never seen a moth like this before, but instantly knew it was from my ancestors. Just that quickly I knew that I was on the right track with making the changes to create an altar specifically for them and incorporating them into my spiritual life properly.

Large Tolype Moth

Knowing that this moth was a gift, I was going to gently ease it off my seat and guide it to leave out of the car. But when I went to nudge it, it just rolled to its side. Due to running behind and not having the time to see if it was dead or not, I collected it in a box and placed it in my garage just in case it was still alive. With all signs I receive, did a google search to see what the spiritual meaning might be on my way to work. With discernment came across some info that best resonated with me. “A white moth is said to embody the soul of a loved one. White being the symbolic color of purity of the soul, and the embodiment comes from an ancient idea that the night (realm of the moth) is a dwelling place for souls (in terms of the Underworld or Otherworld).” “Moths represent transformation, hidden knowledge, inner wisdom, psychic abilities, and shadow work. They are connected to the moon, feminine and yin energies, and intuitive discoveries. They show up to help you discover your hidden desires and awaken to your true self.

In typical mystical fashion, when I got home the moth was no longer in the box or showed any signs of being in the garage. Even checked the garage at night to see if I could find it active but nothing. Glad to see it was still alive but sad to see it wasn’t there so I could admire its beauty.

Don’t Talk About It, Be About It

“Sa Sekhem Sahu”

This week has been a hectic one to say the least. I’ve been dealing with a neighbor issue and it escalated to the point where I went out and got a bat, pepper spray, stun gun and cameras. See, I know who I am and the power that I hold. But never once do I ever forget that I still have to function and make moves in this 3D mundane world. Accepting who and what I am has heightened me to no longer stand for anyone’s bullshit against me, my kids, my family or the things I value in this life. I’ve tapped into several past lives as a male warrior, military ops marksmen, warrior priestesses, warrior princess and several assassin runs on this realm, other realms, planets and dimensions. All I have to do is allow that fury and rage to rise and all I need to know and do will activate.

You may wonder if all of my blogs are about metaphysics, estoteric knowledge, spirituality and magic, why did I run out and get physical things to deal with my neighbor? Oh good question and the answer is I handled it in 2 ways! Firstly, I handled it metaphysically with magic then like I stated, I know I have to function in the 3D mundane, so I got some tools to throw down in the 3D if need be. Best believe I covered my bases. I don’t typically work with the dark arts, but if I have to due to being threatened I will. Threw they asses in a shit and piss jar and been shitting on them ever since they brought this mess to me!

The only reason I’m writing this blog is to let people know that claiming who you truly are spiritually, magically, etc isn’t for fakers and wannabes! You know the ones that as soon as some real shit come up in they life they completely forget who they are, their ancestors, the protection work and the tools they naturally have access to to take care of their problems in the unseen. Not once did I think “oh no, what am I going to do, or should I take their threats seriously or not, or maybe I should just call the police and let them handle it, or maybe if I ignore them and act like their words don’t hurt me they’ll stop”. Man Fuck That and that’s the same thing I told my husband when he didn’t want me to get all gangsta on they ass lol. I’m no punk in the higher realms or on this one. I cast first and ask questions later!

So best believe before I left my house today I stood in front of my altar and asked my ancestors and dragons to be with me as I put on my Eye of Ra necklace, put pepper spray in one pocket, and the taser in the other. Had my bat in the front seat of my car and my gun on the car door, because I am licensed to carry. Chitty, chitty bang bang only if my life and others are depending on it. I Don’t just Talk About It, I Be About It! Even though, they didn’t try me today doesn’t mean I let down my guard and not be ready to get down tomorrow or the next day. But even if they never step to me again, my workings are still doing their job in the unseen. Once again, bases covered!

Hail Sekhmet!

Black Inclusion Is The Key

I just spent a week and half watching videos made by a person named Ewaranon. These collection of videos are called “The Lost History of Flat Earth” that I watched on YouTube; which then lead me to the “What on Earth Happened” on Telegram. I watched them out of order so start with “What on Earth Happened” on Telegram first What lead me to these videos was a post on Facebook that was talking about flat earth.

As a child when we were taught that the Earth was round and gravity holds everything in place didn’t make sense to me. I walked around contemplating how the ocean water didn’t drip off and how they built buildings upside down in South America. The sheer physics of it doesn’t make sense because how could gravity keep me on the ground but allow a bird to fly. Was the tiny song bird stronger than me? When I jump from a tree why didn’t I fly and fall but a bird flies and doesn’t fall? They say wind under its wings allows this flight but when I strapped sheets to my arms and an umbrella to my head why didn’t I at least stay lifted and gently fall to Earth? And yes, I did try those methods when I was younger, because I was scientist at heart. Always testing and trying to understand things that were told to me that didn’t make sense. I never took peoples words as truth, even as a little kid. I would constantly get in trouble at school for questioning teachers on the things they were teaching. Rather than try to help me understand, they would just write me up for detention.

Like many of us I settled on the Earth being round because I couldn’t prove that it wasn’t and a child trusting that an adult wouldn’t lie to them. But as I got into college and gained access to more books and critical thinking being a must as a biochemistry major, the kiddie veils began to fall. I began to question everything not just the earth being round, stars being actual stars, religion and Christianity, and life overall. It wasn’t until I hit the age of 33 did the veils completely fall away. One of the subjects that started to make more sense was Earth being flat under a dome in the middle of our realm.

I know the only reason I was able to sit and watch every single one of these videos is because of my growth as a person and as a spiritual being. My acceptance and inner standing that I don’t know it all and neither does anyone else. My mind being set free from the dogma and religion relic. My connection to the all knowing, my ancestors and my other selves. More importantly, my connection to the records of this realm. I will first give this person a lot of props for creating such an informative and thought provoking collection of videos. I do not agree with all that he states but if I did than that would show me where I’m restricting myself and putting myself in a box. The reason I don’t agree with all that he states is because his point of view is very limited within a plethora of information. He mentions metaphysics but then neglects it as if he doesn’t understand what metaphysics is and only used it as a talking point because it’s a trendy spiritual word. You can’t talk about the microscopic without giving props where props are due; which belongs to the metaphysical aspects of “life”.

While watching his videos he repeatedly states he doesn’t know why the elite are hiding and distorting this information from us. He doesn’t know what the link is or what really happened. He also states he doesn’t believe in aliens or extra dimensional beings. But he does believe there is a “god” or source that is all knowing. He does believe that there are beings that were smarter than us and larger than us, but they were still human beings….. so close but no cigar! He does get the link between satan and the elite but completely misses the bigger link that glues them together. The answers lay in the broken history, the different cultural stories and the mythological stories. He can’t just mention certain cultures and exclude others then expect to see the full picture, especially when the main cultures and his-story he excluded is of the Black people on this realm. Every so called scholar he quotes or mention are white men. All the spiritual information was from organized religions or white mythologies only. When he would drop ancient Egypt into the mix here and there he was demonizing it or relating it to satan worship. But then in another breath note that they too documented the Earth as flat with a dome. You could tell that he is heavily indoctrinated in Christianity while putting on a fake facade of open-mindedness. He even had the nerve to demonize meditation, but wasn’t wrong for pointing out the lies that lie within the positive thinking and high vibes trending movement.

If you haven’t read any of my other blogs, let me define who I’m talking about when I say Black People. The darker pigment nations, tribes and people on this Earth that are classified under the governments of the Earth as “Black” due to being genetically characterized as Black Extraterrestrials aka Not of This Realm. He touched on it when he was noticing that Earth was originally Silica based and carbon isn’t native to this realm. But to understand that link he would have to acknowledge the galactic and otherworldly species beyond this realm and he already stated that he doesn’t. He would have to learn the purpose of the original version for our vessels/bodies, which was to house the energetics aka the spirit of highly intelligent beings in matter. But he already stated that he doesn’t believe in extra dimensional beings. He would have to know that genetics isn’t a Earth thing but an all life forms within this universe thing and Black people’s genetics are different from human beings but that would be too much to handle for the fake open-mindedness. Black includes the native or aboriginal people of Africa, the Americas, Australia, India, Asia, etc. Black isn’t a skin color description as they falsely claim to keep people ignorant to the truth, because Black people can be as light as a Scandinavian, as red brown as the Cherokees and as dark as Blue-Black people in Africa. Not all Black people are Black Extraterrestrials, that’s why all babies are blood tested to figure out their genetics and if they’re a lineage characterized under Black Extraterrestrials. Black people aren’t the glue that links this huge Earthly puzzle piece together, it’s actually the complete opposite. Black people are the puzzle pieces and his information in these videos glues all the puzzle pieces together. All the gaps in his videos is because he’s excluding Black people from the equation.

The biggest deceit and lie that the elite have pranced around the most is that Black people are less than, irrelevant, and without purpose when it’s the complete opposite. How can an obvious intelligent person recognize the falsity in all these sciences, economic systems, government propaganda but not see the falsity and lies when it comes to Black people. How can he ignore the treatment and lies made against Black people, our cultures, our advancements and the stripping away of our history, cultures, spirituality, dignity, rights, etc and expect to even begin to scratch the surface of the elites lies and distortion of the truth. If he can question round Earth, why wouldn’t he question why Black people are treated so bad throughout history and present day on every continent. Why is there an international misinformation campaign against Black people? Why are all Black accomplishments changed, ignored or whitewashed? Shoot, why are the noses of the ancient Egyptian statues blown off! How dear you mention the stars above and not acknowledge that the Dogon tribe knew of Sirius having 3 suns without using telescopes. Or that the aboriginal tribes in Australia knew of the rainbow bridge between our realms as a rainbow serpent. Or totally neglect the numerous native, African and American stories of the large intelligent beings that visited the Earth and taught these people about the mysteries of Earth and the cosmos above. The micro to the macro he often mentions in his videos. People whose souls are new or never been anywhere other than Earth cannot fathom worlds beyond it, maybe that’s why his comprehension of the information he’s discovered is so blatantly disconnected from Source (see my blog titled All About Perspective).

The Great Awakening is happening and it’s clear as day. But this Great Awakening that many white people are going through doesn’t include Black people. Yes, many white people are starting to see through the elite lies, deceit and propaganda but are still brainwashed into thinking they are better than the people the elite has trained them to see as less than. The disregard of Black people all over this realm is the hinderance that is keeping many from achieving the “Aha” moment. The true Great Awakening can only happen when white people acknowledge that all of the elite’s lies are harmful, including the ones they created against Black people to keep us down, docile and dormant. If you’re not questioning why Black people are treated so poorly and why so much negativity and harm has been done to us, then you are not awakening….. you’re just learning some hidden gems buried in plain sight. This goes for white, Asian, Indian, Arab, Pacific Islander, Black, Mexicans and so on.

Name Yourself

I was driving along a well known street in Pittsburgh and I saw the side street Allequippa. When I saw the name I felt anger and disgrace immediately. Alliquippa, the original spelling, is the name of a native Queen from the area that was killed when the oppressors wanted western Pennsylvania. Queen Alliquippa was the queen of the Seneca tribe that lived along the three rivers spanning all the way down to McKeesport and up to the city now called Aliquippa. Then the question came to mind, “why do these oppressors name countries, states, streets, etc. after the names of the people or a person they’ve killed?” Like I always say, when you ask questions you will get answers.

Queen Alliquippa

Soon after asking the question in my head, I received the following: “They rename after the person or people they’ve killed to be able to access their energy and manipulate it to their will.” This makes complete sense to me. You see in fictional or sci fi movies all the time how a person or being would kill their opponent then take or absorb their energy. For example, Mortal Kombat has a fighter that literally sucks the soul out of their opponent when he defeats them aka absorb their energy. Even the Aztec warriors would eat the heart of their rival to absorb their life force after they defeated them. These movies and cultures know the metaphysical significance of this practice, so a course the higher ups would know too.

To relate this to why the defeated names are used to name the oppressors countries and streets, comes back to the importance of people’s names. There is power in a name, what they call themselves and their family or tribe name. There are cultures where the mother consults with the towns shaman to assist her with naming her child, because of how significant naming is. Your name is literally giving the power or energy you contain within your material body a title. And with that title or name the energy is giving it’s foundational purpose. That’s why names should be giving with a purpose, because what you name that energy is how that child will radiate it in her or his life until they learn how to name themselves energetically.

When the oppressors killed off the tribes and key figures in history, they were performing magic death. Referencing my Magic Death blog, when a person is killed with a purpose within a ritual or spell, the energy from that death can be used to continue the spell associated with that ritual. If the energy released from the death is powerful enough it can rip a tear in time and space so every time the month and day of that persons death comes around that energy will automatically replay the ritual to harness energy from people who acknowledge the anniversary of the death. So, regarding Queen Aliquippa, every time a person sees or says her name, they give energy/power to her name which is then used at the will of the oppressors that were given reign over this area of Pennsylvania.

Just like one of the strongest and most powerful tribes of the Amaraka (Americas) was the Illinois tribe. Not only did the oppressors murder majority of the warriors of that tribe, they then named the land they took from them Illinois then named the capital after the tribe’s chief they murdered, Chief Checaugou. The oppressors given reign over that area uses that tribes powerful energy to create death and chaos in the city of Chicago amongst the lineage of that tribe or what many would call the black and Latino people living in the ghetto and poverty stricken areas of the city.

Chief Checaugou

Just like how Queen Khalifa, who was the guardian of the waters which housed the energy tower that was the main protector and portal connecting this planet to Sirius X, was not only murdered but was tricked and humiliated by the oppressors. Then they named the land they took from her and her tribe California; which was the name of the tribe aka black people who were of that land. Queen Khalifa and her people were so powerful and so connected to the land that the oppressors can’t control their energy. And it helps that many of the Black Californians remember who they are and have fought to be recognized. If you ever wondered why there are so many natural catastrophic events happening in California, this is why. Queen Khalifa and her murdered people are using the elements and nature to fight the oppressors. Those earthquakes, droughts, fires and landslides happen because of Queen Khalifa and the Californians fury and rage.

Queen Khalifa

“There’s power in your name and your identity. When you do not know yourself, the world can call you whatever they want. Give you a story, dress it in a bow and feed it to whoever will eat it. Within minutes, destroy your existence and create a new one. Such is the work of a “god” but if you do not view yourself as god-like with the same abilities, you will believe those who do are more powerful than you.” – Lovecraft Country Episode 7 “I Am”